Maria, everyone has such wise and true things to say (like Kate just now). I'm so sorry they didn't have better news about your uncle. And I hope you can let yourself just feel what you're feeling for a bit and don't beat yourself up about it. Take care of yourself.
Congratulations to the class of 1999. You all proved more or less adequate.
Snyder ,'Chosen'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
lisah - Mar 15, 2011 10:36:29 am PDT #17676 of 30000
Punishingly Intricate
amych - Mar 15, 2011 10:38:18 am PDT #17677 of 30000
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?
Once again, I'm humbled and awed by the wisdom and love of this little world we've built.
To Maria, I wish I had something more specific to say than I love you and feel your heartbreak and loneliness and fear, and most of all, WHAT THEY SAID. And even without teh big wisdoms, I wanted to add my voice to those who are loving and supporting your family.
Connie Neil - Mar 15, 2011 10:54:22 am PDT #17678 of 30000
brillig
I'm scared that if I can't bear this pain now and it's just my uncle, what's going to happen when it's my father, or mother, or sister, or husband? I will break, and I won't be able to put myself together again.
You'll find yourself saying, "OK, not breaking just this instant, take another step. Breaking still not happening, OK, one more step. Breaking? Well, we'll pause for this next step, ok, move the foot. Still here." And eventually the clouds fade, and you're amazed at how far you've come. Then you collapse for a bit, let the tide of pain go out, get up, and do some more.
Welcome to humanity.
beekaytee - Mar 15, 2011 11:43:24 am PDT #17679 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant
That is just beautiful Connie.
WindSparrow - Mar 15, 2011 12:12:01 pm PDT #17680 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Thank you so much for... this. I don't even know what to call the last handful of posts, because they're not just encouragement, sympathy, hairpats, and understanding. It's more concrete, like something I can hold on to.
This means a thing. And it's hard to explain to people who have not experienced it. (Coming up with a way to tell the psychiatrist who got to decide when I could leave the hospital about the blinvisible people in the computer who form a great part of my network of resources? That was innnnnnnnnteresting.)
Daisy Jane - Mar 15, 2011 12:27:54 pm PDT #17681 of 30000
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."
This means a thing. And it's hard to explain to people who have not experienced it.
This is why I wish I just had copies of Vampire People to hand out.
Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Mar 15, 2011 12:38:28 pm PDT #17682 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
Thoughts for you and your family, Maria.
sj - Mar 15, 2011 12:51:34 pm PDT #17683 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
This means a thing. And it's hard to explain to people who have not experienced it.
Yes, every time I hear someone talk about how superficial and silly internet communities are I feel bad for them because they obviously don't have anything like the buffistas in their lives.
Trudy Booth - Mar 15, 2011 1:28:01 pm PDT #17684 of 30000
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
But what if I actually do run away? It's not outside the realm of possibility. Then I'm not only weak, but a disappointment.
Then you'll run away. After that, you'll come back.
All the time I've known you you've gone to considerable lengths to put your family first. It's your instinct. Your instinct to care for them will bring you right back.
Atropa - Mar 15, 2011 1:39:06 pm PDT #17685 of 30000
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
This means a thing. And it's hard to explain to people who have not experienced it.
Yeah, it's been interesting explaining it to my therapist. She's fascinated by it, and says that it's wonderful that I have a far-flung support network, she's just a little baffled by the invisible people in the box aspect of it.