Well, you know how I feel about the faith side of things. And I do believe that god can work through you for stuff like this. But you do want to be careful, especially if you're dealing with a history of substance abuse, because the manipulative nature of many addicts (don't read that the wrong way; I don't mean, people who are addicted are of course manipulative and therefore bad, I mean, people who are addicted have much stronger impelling forces that can make them willing to step over and sometimes on social conventions, and therefore we have to set clear boundaries in our relationships) means that sometimes what they're asking for is not what's best for them, or what god wants for their lives.
Anyway, you do what you can do. God can use you, and/or other people/circumstances.
Ok. So my current social dilemma is, the SO has offered to go pick up our volunteers from Flagstaff tomorrow, so I get a little bit of extra time to myself. I won't have a chance to talk to him about it, because he's at work now, and I'll leave for performance tonight before he gets home, and he'll be crashed out by the time I get back. And I'll be crashed out when he leaves, if he leaves without me.
I kinda don't want to make him do that by himself because he's dealing with all the same stuff I am, plus the extra stress of working like mad at the second job I quit. Plus I feel weird about not "managing" their whole trip.
But I should let him, right? He's trying to protect me, and give me some introvert space since he knows it's going to be a tough week for me. And that's good, and I probably do need the time, right?
Steph, people have said lots of wise things. I just wanted to share something from my recent experience representing people with criminal convictions. Often the sentence is something like "2 years in jail (suspended) with 2 years probation" meaning that if you comply with the probation, you don't have to do the two years in jail. But if you don't want the probation and its restrictions, you can often do a much shorter sentence. Like three months in jail but then no probation when you are done.
I only mention this because this guy does have alternatives. And, as I often have to remind myself, you didn't create this situation for him.
Nonian, thanks for that info! This is the sentencing information from the municipal court record of the DUI:
Sentencing-10trc11-01=2 yrs. reporting probation; complete 3 days community service and alcohol program (Pathways) in lieu of jail; terminate ALS and waive fee
I assumed that since the community service and alcohol program were in lieu of jail, the full 2 years probation had to be served. I'm making a list of stuff to ask his PO and/or attorney, so I'll make sure to have him double-check whether or not the probation could be shortened/terminated by him serving more jail time.
Maggie at Boing Boing explains what is going on with Japanese nuclear plant. Sounds right to me, but I could have missed something. Ginger?
[link]
I think my roomie and her bf are about to have sex. That's just the extra motivation I need to go take a shower. She's awesome and considerate, but this is an old house with thin walls and I am no auditeuse (or whatever the sound equivalent of voyeuse is).
(I just want to point out that my dogs would be happy to live in a car!! You can worry about the guy in that sitch, but don't worry about the dog. Walks, food, water, love, car rides, it's all doggie needs. I'm always amazed that some of the damned happiest dogs I see are a homeless person's pets.)
Can I have some ~ma for my stepdad's family. His cousin killed himself last night. There was no warning that I know of, but he left an 8 page suicide note. We're all devestated.
Teppy I hope things work out. It sounds like Tim is willing to listen to your needs that if you talk it out, he won't doing anything you can't live with as long as you tell him what you can't live with.
Oh Goddess, SJ. All the ~ma in the world. Nothing I can think of to say beyond that, love to you and through you to the rest of your family.
