Trudy, much safety~ma to your friend.

Teppy, you have had so much happen. I sincerely hope the universe cuts you some slack soon. I'll hold off on my urge to hug and send you some strength instead.

Mondale/Ferraro was only one of the crushing defeats where the mass electorate just didn't get my point of view. My very first vote was 1972 when they all voted for Nixon when clearly McGovern was a better candidate. We will not talk about 2000 or 2004 because really no good can come from that memory.

In more pleasant news, I went to work late today, then took off for 3 hours for lunch and a mani/pedi. I feel almost giddy. I should slack more often. Oh, if I hurry I can leave early too! Or I could just play on the internet while at my desk.

You've read most of what I've said wrongly, for the record.

And what I've said as well.

There is a world of difference between "here is what IS" and "here is what SHOULD BE."

Oof, Teppy. I hope the universe lightens up on you VERY GODDAMN SOON.

This.

There is a world of difference between "here is what IS" and "here is what SHOULD BE."

Same here. Because no one, NO ONE, should feel they have to do that stuff, and I get pissed that society crams that message down women's throats.

On the other hand, I decided a long time ago that it is easier for me personally to game the system, and see if I can work to change those fucked-up messages by trying to subvert society.

Mysterious construction turns out to be installation of a water pump. The melting snow is all in our basement.

I've never felt like I HAD to play up any pretty I possess, I just pulled it out when I thought it would be of use.

Oh, Tep. I hate that the universe is raining shit down on you. Nothing worse than dealing with death and other mega-stressy stuff while in serious physical pain and discomfort. It just brings everything up to ELEVENTY right away.

I hope you don't hate me for snickering at this line in your previous post, though:

He's had run-ins with the law and whatnot, like you do.

Tep, you feel overwhelmed because you ARE overwhelmed with a shitstorm life is throwing at you. Both of you. I hope it starts to let up, like now.

One thing I will say is that looking pretty and acting nice and friendly are two different things that often reinforce each other: when you act friendly, smile big, etc., I think it creates the perception that you are attractive, especially for women. And if you're feeling attractive, you're more likely to act confident and outgoing, and maybe that's perceived as friendliness. So it can be hard to tell how much of the treatment you're getting in a particular interaction is from one or the other.

Yes, this.

my first world problems, let me show you them: i usually swim on friday afternoons which is lovely because the fun pool (for the kids) is closed and there's rarely enough lap swimmers to make for more than one person to a lane. And as all you swimmers know, being able to do your entire workout with a lane all to yourself? A marvelous thing. Truly wonderful. Today i went earlier than usual because i had a massage scheduled at 2. I showed up at the pool just before noon. Bad idea. kiddie pool open, lap lanes crowded with lunchtime swimmers. But i was sharing a lane with a gal who swims faster than me, but that propelled me to swim faster than usual. And of course the showers and locker room were packed with small children and mothers, never a calming experience. As i was leaving, my LMT called and said she had to cancel. So i went through all the crowding and screaming and annoyance-making for no good reason at all.

But i did use the extra hours of sunlight (holy crap, sunlight!) to turn my compost pile and prep the big raised bed. Then i went totally crazy and planted onions, parsnip, beet and carrot seeds. My Portland "Veggie Calendar" says it's still several weeks to early to plant any of those, but i was on a roll.

I have nothing of substance to contribute to gender discussion, aside from the fact that i went through a decade-long phrase of kicking anyone who called me "cute" because i found it demeaning and wanted to be noticed for my brilliant intellect and sparkling wit. I earned the alias "shin-kicker" as a result and of course every male friend i had would use the word incessantly to goad me. Females, OTOH, totally got the irritation.

I find the whole lipstick/cleavage leverage to only work in bars/nightclubs or other places where there is a distinct advantage to NOT fading into the background (e.g faster service at the bar.) For work? I wash my face and comb my hair and put on clean clothes that cover pretty much everything except my face and hands. The biases are there. The inequality is there. It pisses me off, and i could rant for hours about social expectations wrt makeup, but i'm hungry.

What Jilli Said WRT to gaming and subverting.