Oh, God, Tep. You're a stronger woman than I am; I would've been twitching on the floor with my brains leaking out one ear about two and a quarter crises ago. No brackets, just sympathy and an earnest hope that any and all powers that be get the rest of the universe to back off and give you (and Tim) a moment of breathing space. Because that sounds unbearable.

Great googly moogly, Steph. I validate your assesment of extreme suckitude and continue to be appalled at everyhing you're dealing with.

Dear Universe, STEP OFF THE TEP. Thou risketh the mighty wrath of the Buffistae.

No love whatsoever,

Moi

Oh, God, Tep. You're a stronger woman than I am; I would've been twitching on the floor with my brains leaking out one ear about two and a quarter crises ago.

I have been, believe me, but...you just get back up because some new goddamn crisis comes along.

Because that sounds unbearable.

Pretty much.

Steph, Tim owes you mass quantities of chocolate. Actually, so does your father, but he isn't likely to come through.

Dear Universe, STEP OFF THE TEP. Thou risketh the mighty wrath of the Buffistae.

This. Teppy, I'm so sorry you have had so much suck to deal with. And I'm so so sorry that you have to go to another funeral for a loved one. You have been to way too many of those lately.

Dear Universe, STEP OFF THE TEP. Thou risketh the mighty wrath of the Buffistae.

I would also like to sign the petition for this.

Teppy, since huggy thoughts don't work for you, if I could, I would just sit quietly nearby, at whatever distance is comfortable for you - just to be there. (spoiler font in case this would be too much right now) You are in fact drowning in the shittier side of life right now. Feeling as though you are alone in your stress and pain, even when there are people around you sharing it, doesn't make you a special snowflake. What you are going through is no joke. It's not a bluff. It's not something you are malingering about, or exaggerating. ~ma for you and your family, and the situation with Tim's ex's son.

Dear I-Don't-Even-Know-What, Steph. This is... unreal. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this, and that it seems so endless.

I wish there was something I could do. I wish more would be reaching out, and won't throw their ignorance and craptitude on you.

You do have my sympathy.

Great googly moogly, Steph. I validate your assesment of extreme suckitude and continue to be appalled at everyhing you're dealing with.

Dear Universe, STEP OFF THE TEP. Thou risketh the mighty wrath of the Buffistae.

No love whatsoever,

Moi

I just copied smonster's comment in its entirety because it needs to be said. Loudly and repeatedly. Jeebus H.

Good Lord, Steph, I'm so sorry. Anybody would be losing it at this point.

I can't believe no one else sees the Tucker Max of "which women are worth treating as human" model of behavior at work. And yes, I do find being a woman bleak sometimes. And I feel pretty discounted right now.

I don't see it at work so much, personally, because my department is mostly women, right up to the Big Boss. But I have seen it in places I've worked before. I often feel that being a woman is pretty bleak. I've never been one to dress up pretty for fun or play with gender norms. Except for people I really trust, I don't let anyone see me cry, and feel weak and infantilized when someone does, and I don't tell anyone I can't do something because I'm scared or overwhelmed (even if it's true). Those advantages to being a woman exist for me, of course, but they don't affect my daily life much. What has always affected my life is the fear of getting pregnant, the fear of being raped or molested, the constant battle with my body (not just my weight), and being discounted and dismissed as dumb, incompetent, and inconsequential because I'm a girl. I know there are women who don't feel that way, but I don't entirely understand them. They're like fairies. Or Kaylee.

I don't know who Tucker Max is.

I don't think that the fact that people interact preferentially with people they find attractive is the same thing as women having power.

I am talking specifically about being discounted as a person if, in general you aren't sexually attractive to men.

I hear that, and I add the anger and frustration of being discounted as a person if you ARE sexually attractive to men. As a woman, you can't win - with many guys, and with the Way of the World as a whole.

I am talking about my husband telling me I shouldn't have to spend more than 10 minutes getting dressed

For what? A run to the supermarket, or a party?

and I don't have to wear make up or tame my frizzy hair.

Maybe he thinks he being supportive, saying this? Of course you don't "have to", but people will respond to you differently if you don't, and we're back to the eternal question of What Should a Woman Look Like. I totally get your desire to say fuck it and quit the world.

This is one of my buttons. My Psycho Ex would yell at me for spending too much time getting ready to go somewhere ("too much" being, more time than he did) and then rake me over the coals if I wasn't vivacious and pretty enough. I was apparently supposed to bounce out of bed, throw on any old thing out of the closet, not do more than comb my hair, and be Perfect for Any Occasion.

eta formatting, dammit