Great googly moogly, Steph. I validate your assesment of extreme suckitude and continue to be appalled at everyhing you're dealing with.

Dear Universe, STEP OFF THE TEP. Thou risketh the mighty wrath of the Buffistae.

No love whatsoever,

Moi

I just copied smonster's comment in its entirety because it needs to be said. Loudly and repeatedly. Jeebus H.

Good Lord, Steph, I'm so sorry. Anybody would be losing it at this point.

I can't believe no one else sees the Tucker Max of "which women are worth treating as human" model of behavior at work. And yes, I do find being a woman bleak sometimes. And I feel pretty discounted right now.

I don't see it at work so much, personally, because my department is mostly women, right up to the Big Boss. But I have seen it in places I've worked before. I often feel that being a woman is pretty bleak. I've never been one to dress up pretty for fun or play with gender norms. Except for people I really trust, I don't let anyone see me cry, and feel weak and infantilized when someone does, and I don't tell anyone I can't do something because I'm scared or overwhelmed (even if it's true). Those advantages to being a woman exist for me, of course, but they don't affect my daily life much. What has always affected my life is the fear of getting pregnant, the fear of being raped or molested, the constant battle with my body (not just my weight), and being discounted and dismissed as dumb, incompetent, and inconsequential because I'm a girl. I know there are women who don't feel that way, but I don't entirely understand them. They're like fairies. Or Kaylee.

I don't know who Tucker Max is.

I don't think that the fact that people interact preferentially with people they find attractive is the same thing as women having power.

I am talking specifically about being discounted as a person if, in general you aren't sexually attractive to men.

I hear that, and I add the anger and frustration of being discounted as a person if you ARE sexually attractive to men. As a woman, you can't win - with many guys, and with the Way of the World as a whole.

I am talking about my husband telling me I shouldn't have to spend more than 10 minutes getting dressed

For what? A run to the supermarket, or a party?

and I don't have to wear make up or tame my frizzy hair.

Maybe he thinks he being supportive, saying this? Of course you don't "have to", but people will respond to you differently if you don't, and we're back to the eternal question of What Should a Woman Look Like. I totally get your desire to say fuck it and quit the world.

This is one of my buttons. My Psycho Ex would yell at me for spending too much time getting ready to go somewhere ("too much" being, more time than he did) and then rake me over the coals if I wasn't vivacious and pretty enough. I was apparently supposed to bounce out of bed, throw on any old thing out of the closet, not do more than comb my hair, and be Perfect for Any Occasion.

eta formatting, dammit

Daisy, I heard you loud and clear and nodded my head with a lot of what you said.

Also, I woke up with a migraine, and it is a bright-ass sunny day. I medicated, but it ain't going anywhere. I honestly might take a squirreled-away percocet when I get to the church (and therefore am done driving for a while; I'm cavalier about drug intake, but not about impaired driving).

I'm actually surprised the migraine held off until today.

(Also, the Ohio River is way past flood stage, and the fastest way to get from my part of town [roughly central; a bit northwest of downtown] to my dad's part of town [east east east] is to go through Northern Kentucky and back into Ohio. Over the river twice. The exit I would get off at is closed because it's underwater. I know several workarounds, but man, nothing is easy at all.)

(The meter reader showed up today, and I was in yoga pants and a t-shirt, with bedhead, but NOT in only a bathrobe. That is my win for the day and possibly the goddamn week -- that I wasn't a porn cliche inadvertently.) (You know, all that bedhead, weeping-girl porn.)

Okay. Out the door in 5 minutes. We few, we happy few.

Oh Teppy, I won't offer hugs or brackets, but you have my sympathy. It's one of those days - or weeks it seems - when everything's just piling up. Can you at least spend the weekend hiding out from a lot of this?

And, because it deserves another post - I've noticed that the TWO men in my office with any authority have taken to hiring tall, slim, attractive young women ... one, who's left, turned out to be a lot less competent than they gave her credit for, another wears clothing I find to be inappropriate - today she's wearing a skirt that reminds me of the petticoat Steph linked to above (black chiffon, barely covers her crotch, luckily over black tights). The third man in the office is, officially, the mail clerk, but he seems to have removed himself from any chain of command.

Teppy that sucks.

And in terms of women not being treated as fully human. Yeah I see it. I did not comment other than to tell a story because I don't comment a lot. But really the story was supporting you. The supposed advantages of being a woman - I had the same advantage. I got out of a traffic ticket without being cute or flirty or whatever. And yet I don't have to put up with the shit women do. So I thought that was a pretty good illustration that the ways in which women are treat not only suck net, but don't have a ton of upsides men lack access to.

I was nodding along too, DJ. Sometimes I lose track of how ineffective that is on the interwebs. Partly I was lost in the notion of having looks to use, since I have never been particularly attractive and am flirting impaired.

The meter reader showed up today, and I was in yoga pants and a t-shirt, with bedhead

I worked for the power company for seven years. Trust me, there's nothing the meter reader hasn't seen. I once did a story about the very worst meters to read. There's one in the middle of an alligator pen in south Georgia. There's one between runways at a pretty busy airport. I got to meet the goose that had been attacking meter readers for about a decade. The usual method for reading the meter was to pick up a garbage can lid and use it as a shield.

A friend and client's brother died suddenly last week, which is even more of a tragedy since it leaves her as the only caretaker for her mother. There's a service tomorrow, but it's a two-hour drive. Part of me feels I ought to go, but four hours in the car, plus service, is a bit much too.

I walked into the office today behind a woman wearing a zipper skirt (like this, but with the zipper in the back. Now, I'd love to have the skirt myself, but I really wouldn't wear an outfit into the office where the whole deal about one piece of it is how to get it off. I mean, the zipper was bigger than on that skirt. It was the detail. It was overwhelming.

My meter reader generally sees me in a towel. It's a big towel, but a towel nonetheless. I hope its a pleasant part of a tough day but I doube he even notices (considering what all he sees).

The UPS guy notices and batts his eyes.

Geraldine Ferraro was far more accomplished than Sarah Palin. But guess who got far and away more press for being a VP candidate?

To be fair, I'm not sure how much of that is Palin being pretty and how much is just that there is so much more press now, in general, than there was when Ferraro was running.

I'd agree, there is much more media now. OTOH, Caribou Barbie wouldn't have gone as far in her various media triumphs if she looked like Ferraro.