Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I shall meara rather quickly, as I am on valium for a small procedure today and it's about to kick in.
Congrats on being on the research team, Shir! Although I am not in the least bit surprised, as I've always said you're a genius. It's nice to be being proved right. (Did you receive the wedding invite? Reply, genius.)
I WANNA GO TO AN F2F, DAMMIT!!!
This. One day I'll find a way to cross that annoying body of water that gets in the way.
Having been teaching a course in feminism and society for the past half-semester, I'm too tired to contribute to the gender discussions. Interesting, though. (It's been great teaching it to a mix of male and female students, most of whom are only about 19.)
In the U.S. one common case where we do the land lease is trailers. People who live in trailers (AKA mobile homes, AKA caravans for you English speakers) own the trailer, but lease the land. And yeah get screwed for it too a lot.
Yup! It's rather difficult to find affordable housing. The strange thing is, these condo's are NICE! Not fancy schmancy ritzy, but real nice. In the height of the bubble they were going for easy $400k. And it seems most of Orange County is land lease. What the hell is the point to buying? The biggest thing with buying, is owning the land. I'm a bit confused by it all, and feeling, once again, I am out of the housing market. Hate it.
ION- I finally found it! We have a SATA hard drive at work that isn't working. Bought a new drive, installed in enclosure, and it's not working. Hmm, sounds like it's the enclosure, right? Well, I finally found my IDE/SATA to USB adapter. Now I can finally test just the drives.
IOON- Looks like I've been peer-pressured into attending a party for a former co-worker. It's a "closure party", seeing how she was fired a few months back. I've always been polite and friendly with her. More for politics, so the other co-workers see me as a team player. But dude, she made faculty and students cry. Uggg. And it's pot luck. Gotta bring cheese for the tacos. Which means I can't just show up late/leave early trick. :: sigh :: Sometimes, I really hate social occasions.
Teppy, that is an awesome petticoat. I'm sure you'll look hawt no omatter what you wear.
I think my stomach ick yesterday was a sign I was getting sick. Fever chills, and achiness today. I feel bad canceling on babysitting, but I think I want to be able to see my doctor this morning if I need to.
Wow. I can't believe no one else sees the Tucker Max of "which women are worth treating as human" model of behavior at work. And yes, I do find being a woman bleak sometimes. And I feel pretty discounted right now.
I think Tucker Max is an extreme characterisation of any of the behaviour anyone here has said they indulge in. There's not a person here who has said they'd trade sex for favours (although my sister has indicated last time I was unemployed I should have been at least blow job desperate).
Rather, I think a lot of people like to be treated like
they
were attractive, and that's where a lot of this plays in.
Tucker Max wouldn't give me the time of day. I think he understand that as well as I do, and neither of us would lose a wink of sleep over it.
I will continue to use my smile as social lubrication. And I know it works better because I have a rack somewhere below it and I can put myself together nicely. It's inextricable.
If smiles made you look uglier, no one be swayed by them. And being as charming as you can is playing into that same old game. Who's going to stop because of it?
I don't say I'm stupid, I don't offer up sex as trade for things I can't get otherwise, and I'm totally okay with most of it. I need to learn to be able to shut down an interaction if it gets near to the "So? That meant you really liked me and want my penis?" stage. But most people never get that far. They just preferred being smiled as prettily as I can imagine to the alternative.
I can't believe no one else sees the Tucker Max of "which women are worth treating as human" model of behavior at work.
I've seen it, but fortunately only at something of a remove. In one particular department at work, it seemed as if there was a string of cute, young, petite, blondes who kept getting hired/promoted. Then, the general partner over that area retired. Hmm...
That said, DJ, I have seen that kind of ugliness on the internet in more than one place, usually where there's a shield of anonymity or pseudonymity. It's scary.
Rather, I think a lot of people like to be treated like they were attractive, and that's where a lot of this plays in.
Oh, yes. Very much so. Or maybe not even treated as if they were attractive, but treated as if they mattered.
Those are the more extreme of the things he writes, but that general attitude is so very common.
Smiling is a social lubricant attractive or not. That's just being friendly.
I am talking specifically about being discounted a a person if, in general you aren't sexually attractive to men.
I am talking about my husband telling me I shouldn't have to spend more than 10 minutes getting dressed and I don't have to wear make up or tame my frizzy hair.
Then I have you guys telling me of course I do. That's just the way of the world, and if I am overlooked and ignored, a little wink and some lipgloss might have been my friend.
The whole thing makes me want to say fuck it and quit the world.
You've read most of what I've said wrongly, for the record.
I am talking specifically about being discounted a a person if, in general you aren't sexually attractive to men.
I agree that this is still a problem in society. (It is early, and I'm getting ready for work, so I can't talk much.)
I am talking about my husband telling me I shouldn't have to spend more than 10 minutes getting dressed and I don't have to wear make up or tame my frizzy hair.
Then I have you guys telling me of course I do. That's just the way of the world, and if I am overlooked and ignored, a little wink and some lipgloss might have been my friend.
DI, I am sorry you are getting all of this out of the convo, because I feel your frustrating through the screen. Not to put words in other people's mouths, but you absolutely do not have to make yourself into anything you don't want. And yes, you and your friend and me and ita and everyone, male and female, should be treated equally regardless of outer appearance.
I don't think anyone is disgagreeing with that! I think for myself, I think that people react more positively to what they consider attractiveness, from a COMBINATION of hard-wired biological stuff AND from a shitty holdover antiquated notions of women's value lying...well, not in their heads, and I shared anecdata of my own person choices on how I live as a woman in the world.
Ok, I gotta go to work. Peace out, ye womyn!
DJ, much of what you said resonated with me, and I tried to communicate that in my semi-meara. Even when I had an office job, I never wore makeup, and me doing my hair means wetting it to try and get rid of bedhead.
I'm going to be late to work, or I'd say more.
Also, I can't think who Tucker Max is.
