I try to be super polite and nice to new people, and I think when I look pretty, I get overall better reactions to that.

I resent the fact that a friend of mine with Bell's palsy who is shaped a bit short and squat often does not. She's treated as if she's invisible, and that hurts me.

I resent the fact that when I sense my super politeness is taken as something else, and I shut it down, suddenly things can turn downright hostile, and instead of telling me where the nearest garage is, suddenly I'm an ugly bitch.

Huh, I try to do what I can and help people regardless of whether I might want to sleep with them. I'm as likely to base it on how well I know them or if they've helped me.

If I don't know them it would likely be based on how they approached me and whether or not I felt intimidated as whether I thought they were attractive.

I try to be super polite and nice to new people, and I think when I look pretty, I get overall better reactions to that.

Because it's true. You don't have to like it. You don't have to just accept it as the way things are always going to be, but it's true.

And it's probably always going to be true. Women "pretty ourselves up" and it's frankly not just for internal happiness. It's because it is what our society values and we're buying into it.

If we weren't buying into it on every side nearly every President wouldn't be taller than average and generally quite good looking. It works.

You don't have to want to sleep with them, though. Why would straight men vote for a taller good looking president? Not because they're all secretly gheyz.

It's not about wanting them in a sexual way.

Prettier gets more positive attention. We trust attractive. We want to be around attractive. We want to be attractive.

Are they voting for the dude based on the fact that he's tall and good looking? I think that's a way oversimplification.

I think with sexual equality comes valuing women as something other than sex object, and with that comes treating women you find unattractive with just as much kindness and politeness as you would women you find attractive.

I do not automatically trust attractive nor is it particularly something I want to be around without other qualities to make me, you know, actually want to be around that person.

Are they voting for the dude based on the fact that he's tall and good looking? I think that's a way oversimplification.

They aren't consciously choosing which dude they'd rather bang if they had to, but our lizard brains are kinda simplistic. So yes. Tall-ish and good looking seems healthier, just like symmetry does. And we do subconsciously lean toward these attributes in leaders. I don't have time to go on a cite rampage here but the study was most recently done by Louisiana State, I think.

No, people aren't thinking, "Hmm, prettier, so yes." But people are NOT thinking that and then they FEEEEEEEEEEL like the prettier one is smarter or a better leader.

I'm not saying it's an awesome characteristic of us, but it's there. And pretending people don't go for prettier packaging on many levels doesn't really get us anywhere new.

And pretending people don't go for prettier packaging on many levels doesn't really get us anywhere new.

Yeah. People like pleasing to the eye. It's how we are, on a level that goes way beyond sexism and racism. I think every attempt to sabotage unconscious prejudice that's not based on truly relevant criteria is admirable and should be striven for, but I'm not going to pretend it isn't reflexive.

And it's not *just* about sexism.

They aren't consciously choosing which dude they'd rather bang if they had to, but our lizard brains are kinda simplistic. So yes. Tall-ish and good looking seems healthier, just like symmetry does. And we do subconsciously lean toward these attributes in leaders. I don't have time to go on a cite rampage here but the study was most recently done by Louisiana State, I think.

But that study ONLY used looks as a criteria for voting. People are evaluating more than that. Quasimodo would get my vote if he were running against George Clooney if he was on record as pro-choice, pro-single payer, pro-union and living wage.

I'm not saying people don't go for prettier packaging. Well...depending on what you mean when you say go for.

Not all men treat women as things to be overlooked (or even treat badly) unless they find them attractive, but plenty do, and I think playing into that kind of sexism doesn't help to make fewer Tucker Maxes in the world.