But scar tissue is also part of the healing process. It's not like you go back to what you were. But you can get better and move to a better place.

Scar tissue is the strongest part of skin tissue. (That may be a myth.) So I wouldn't be surprised if it's the strongest part of the soul.

t edited for more correct medical info

I can guarantee that is not true. First of all, people aren't that immutable. Second of all, you in particular are fairly mercurial.

That I am. That I am. Although that's part of why I wonder about the permanency of feeling like this -- it's been going on for so long, and still continues. It's been a topic of discussion in therapy.

And I'm still feeling lots and lots better (as in not depressed all the time) since the Italy trip. But this profound betrayal has bred a profound mistrust that still lingers.

Btw, did I mention that because of your enthusiasm I bought Emmett Assassin's Creed and he loves it. Plus now he knows about the Duomo.

I approve. And you absolutely must convey to him (or perhaps not) that those buildings are TOTALLY climbable.

Hey, we were going to have an actual phone conversation, weren't we? Let's make that happen.

Yeah! Sorry. I've been thinking about that un-had phone call every day while I've been kicking ass/getting my ass kicked by Halloween. We're pretty close to done (we've been amazing this year), so hopefully later in the week I'll have some time for a phone chat.

I REALLY NEED YOU PEOPLE IN A GIANT CUDDLE PILE (or at an appropriate personal-space distance) AROUND ME, RIGHT NOW!!!

You all make me do this -- :)

Yes. I'm pretty sure that's the first and only emoticon I've ever used here. Deal with it.

Oh Seanie-My-Love, please remember that you were the person who helped me to trust again after being hurt and betrayed. Now it's my/our turn to help you find that capacity again. It won't be the same, but it'll be stronger.

I like you very much and love you even more.

You all make me do this

We make you abuse emoticons? ;P

PLEASE NOTE THAT I USED AN EMOTICON TO INDICATE MY FACETIOUSNESS.

I've been wanting some sort of therapy, but I'm leery of therapists in the heart of Utah, ie, with them coming from some degree of "If you made yourself right with the local church, all would be well" sort of thing. Is there some sort of accreditation that says "This therapist is religion-neutral and won't automatically give you drugs"?

Dude, be careful what you wish for, as Buffistas may give you it, 'cause you need a little...christmassunshine...er...right this very minute....

TACKLEHUG!*

*in a careful-oof-pregnant-ow-my-kidneys-no-that's-too-tight kind of way, that is. Let's make it a sideways tackle hug just to be safe.

I do not envy anyone the therapist hunt, let alone in the middle of Utah. I actually REALLY lucked out with my current therapist. I found her on an unusual recommendation from my dad and step-mom's therapists. She was the first and only therapist I called when I finally went for help for this latest bout of depression, and she is easily the best therapist I've ever known. Certainly the best I've ever had.

Yes. I'm pretty sure that's the first and only emoticon I've ever used here. Deal with it.

What's an emoticon? Do I need punctuation to have feelings now? Where's my superhero friend Interrobang?!