DJ, a good friend of mine who's FtM (and super super feminist) says that he sees that kind of accepting of gender stereotypes among a depressingly large percentage of the trans people he knows. I wonder if, to take ita's point a step further, it might also have to do with feeling a need to conform to some of those stereotypes in order to pass.
Like -- and I recognize that this is an extremely simplified and generalized example -- if you are female-bodied and ID as female, then you can blur gender boundaries, act as "masculine" as you want, and it doesn't matter so much to your concept of yourself if people look at you funny because you know that you're female and nothing anyone says can make you feel differently. Whereas, if you're male-bodied but ID as female (or biologically male but have transitioned to female, etc.), then you might feel more pressure to act in a stereotypically feminine matter, so as to prove -- to other people or just to yourself -- that that's what you really are.
DJ, a good friend of mine who's FtM (and super super feminist) says that he sees that kind of accepting of gender stereotypes among a depressingly large percentage of the trans people he knows. I wonder if, to take ita's point a step further, it might also have to do with feeling a need to conform to some of those stereotypes in order to pass.
I know we don't know the same FtM feminist dude (I don't *think* we do...does he live in Kentucky?), but this has been my experience among the trans* people I know (and at this point, I am *not* counting Tim in that handful ONLY because he doesn't try to live as a woman or pass as one, and this conversation seems to be more about trans* individuals who are living and trying to pass as their chosen gender).
Whereas, if you're male-bodied but ID as female (or biologically male but have transitioned to female, etc.), then you might feel more pressure to act in a stereotypically feminine matter, so as to prove -- to other people or just to yourself -- that that's what you really are.
Also, you REALLY don't want to get your ass kicked or dead just because you don't pass.
I know we don't know the same FtM feminist dude (I don't *think* we do...does he live in Kentucky?)
Hah, no, he's in Massachusetts, though that would be cool if we did!
Also, you REALLY don't want to get your ass kicked or dead just because you don't pass.
Absolutely true -- and that's also a danger for people who blur or cross gender boundaries who don't ID as trans, of course.
I just talked to Trudy's mom and she's still in surgery but we worked out together that she'd gone in really late, so no worries. She was very nice about a stranger calling her too. I'll check on her again in an hour or two and then Beep You when she's out of surgery and recovery.
Sending the ~ma not only for Trudy but a bit for her mom, too. No matter how many good reasons there are for a long wait, it's never fun.
Sadly, this is totally the case for many transpeople I know, too...at least at first. Overcompensating indeed. Certainly not all, and a lot of them then chill out when they're more assimilated, and get awesome about it...but a few end up staying there.
Sadly, this is totally the case for many transpeople I know, too...at least at first. Overcompensating indeed. Certainly not all, and a lot of them then chill out when they're more assimilated, and get awesome about it...but a few end up staying there.
You guys! My brother is a FUCKING ROCKSTAR.
His brewpub has been planning to expand, to a second facility where they would brew and can one (only one right now) of their beers. It's going to be a 15-barrel facility (not, obviously anything like the ginormous breweries like Budweiser -- this is one of their barrels [and my brother]: [link] It's going to have a store there, where they'll sell that beer in 4-packs (each can is 16 oz., which is larger than the typical beer can), and other stuff like t-shirts. It's going to be big enough that they're planning on having TOURS, like, well, like Budweiser does.
This is a big deal. (Here's more info if anyone really cares about the details: [link]
So, my brother called me tonight to tell me that after 7 years as executive chef of the brewpub, he's no longer going to be cooking. At all.
Because he's going to be the operations manager for the whole thing, both locations, brewpub and new brewery. Which is why he is a FUCKING ROCKSTAR. I am so goddamned proud of him. I think him not cooking is a loss for the people who eat at the brewpub, but it's not as though he was the only chef there.
I know you guys don't know him, but I'm just bursting with sisterly pride and wanted to share it.
justified sisterly pride.
