Thanks for the update, Cass. Still thinking good thoughts for Trudy's surgical team and for her healing process.

Is it really either Ambien or trazadone for prescription sleep meds? I can't convince my migraine specialist to up my Ambien script, because he needs to talk to the sleep specialist. But she's the dancing nutcase, so I really don't want her determining my medicine. Still, 10mg does not reliably get me through the night. That much is not up for debate. It is, however, worlds better than trazadone for me.

You guys I just don't even know anymore I have a MtF trans friend arguing that women just inherently want to get married and have babies, a fairly feminist friend "liking" Tucker Max and another friend arguing that he knows the Republicans don't support his rights as a gay man, but he's not really affected by that as much as he is by the Democrats increasing his taxes.

Fuck, it's not the people I disagree with it's the people I do who are going to make me throw in the towel.

Is it really either Ambien or trazadone for prescription sleep meds? I can't convince my migraine specialist to up my Ambien script, because he needs to talk to the sleep specialist. But she's the dancing nutcase, so I really don't want her determining my medicine. Still, 10mg does not reliably get me through the night. That much is not up for debate. It is, however, worlds better than trazadone for me.

The NP I saw mentioned a couple of other options, but I didn't know the names, so they didn't stick in my head. But based on the fact that my mother used trazadone successfully for quite some time, we're betting on that as being a good choice to try next. No guarantees that I will have the same results as my mother did, but there are some similarities of biochemistry in her system and mine, as we have had similar reactions to a few other things.

I have a MtF trans friend arguing that women just inherently want to get married and have babies

In discussion recently (and I wish I could remember with who), it was raised that it might be likely that someone who's experienced gender dysphoria might be more conventional about gender stereotypes, rather than less, as I would have guessed--I mean, I thought if you'd had to live one side while being another, you'd get that these things have shades of grey. But the person I had the convo with (my mother?) said instead that not having enough shades of grey was probably part of the problem.

I don't want to say there's one way that transgendered people think, but I do know that part of the reason that I don't get the dysphoria is because I don't believe in the gender distinctions as much as many people do--I see a sex one, and then the rest of it is handwaving for me. Total cis privilege. I get that some people feel a pressure from a conflict between their sex and their gender, but I have the luxury of not feeling restricted by my gender, since I figure I can do most anything I want, up to and including peeing standing up.

Lunesta, Restoril and (for me) anti-anxieties can quiet my brain enough for sleep but doctors kinda hate that.

I've heard that Lunesta is good for the through the night problems but I get that next day aftertaste thing from it and it's worst with water so I don't take it.

Also MtF trans lesbian. You'd think she'd see that there are more things in heaven and earth...

Thank you though for that insight. I was really at a loss, but I can see what you're saying.

Cass, thanks for the Trudy update.

WS, I hope the new meds work better for you.

Today's appointment turned out to be with a doctor at the weight center. So I am no officially approved to see a nutritionist on my next appoint. So, one more hoop jumped through. She did say that she didn't think the ideal weight that I picked would be sustainable for me. I thought she was actually going to try to convince me to lose more since the weight I picked was nowhere near the ideal for my height on the BMI. I get to track everything I eat between now and my next appointment, starting tomorrow.

She also wanted me to consider seeing the exercise physiologist, but considering that I am already going to be seeing a physical therapist and the physiologist is pricey, I'm not doing that for now.

DJ, a good friend of mine who's FtM (and super super feminist) says that he sees that kind of accepting of gender stereotypes among a depressingly large percentage of the trans people he knows. I wonder if, to take ita's point a step further, it might also have to do with feeling a need to conform to some of those stereotypes in order to pass.

Like -- and I recognize that this is an extremely simplified and generalized example -- if you are female-bodied and ID as female, then you can blur gender boundaries, act as "masculine" as you want, and it doesn't matter so much to your concept of yourself if people look at you funny because you know that you're female and nothing anyone says can make you feel differently. Whereas, if you're male-bodied but ID as female (or biologically male but have transitioned to female, etc.), then you might feel more pressure to act in a stereotypically feminine matter, so as to prove -- to other people or just to yourself -- that that's what you really are.

DJ, a good friend of mine who's FtM (and super super feminist) says that he sees that kind of accepting of gender stereotypes among a depressingly large percentage of the trans people he knows. I wonder if, to take ita's point a step further, it might also have to do with feeling a need to conform to some of those stereotypes in order to pass.

I know we don't know the same FtM feminist dude (I don't *think* we do...does he live in Kentucky?), but this has been my experience among the trans* people I know (and at this point, I am *not* counting Tim in that handful ONLY because he doesn't try to live as a woman or pass as one, and this conversation seems to be more about trans* individuals who are living and trying to pass as their chosen gender).

Whereas, if you're male-bodied but ID as female (or biologically male but have transitioned to female, etc.), then you might feel more pressure to act in a stereotypically feminine matter, so as to prove -- to other people or just to yourself -- that that's what you really are.

Also, you REALLY don't want to get your ass kicked or dead just because you don't pass.