I was just looking that up. Soy sauce! What?! Fine, take my beer, I'll drink cider, but soy sauce?

There are some kinds of soy sauce that are gluten-free. I'm pretty sure Tamari usually is.

I'm pretty sure Tamari usually is.

I thought tamari had a higher wheat-to-soy ration than regular soy sauce?

I have a very hard time believing that people (even people I've known for a very long time) actually like me, or want to spend time with me.

oh, sweetie! Please know that I actually like you and want to spend time with you. You know me, I'm not a nice person, so I wouldn't say that just to make you feel better ;)

I feel like everybody I know is just waiting for the most hurtful possible moment to stab me in the back.

Epically untrue. Which, I know, doesn't help so much when it feels so desperately true, but, still.

I can't speak for other Buffista households, but chez Zmayhem you are loved and esteemed on nigh-Scola levels. We like having you around, like visiting and doing stuff and even loafing around doing no stuff at all in your company, and we wish the absolute best for you (though no best we could devise would be quite best enough for what you merit), and we wish we had the power to make it so for you right now. Because we would.

No no! Don't delete, Jess. I appreciate the jokes. And it helps a little.

Because yes, the distrust includes you people. It's not your fault. It's not anything any of you people did. Some other people betrayed me so fundamentally that it's profoundly changed me.

I feel a thousand times better (as in not super depressed), but I don't feel normal, and i don't feel right, and i kind of worry that this new way of "being me" is pretty much permanent.

(SO VERY MUCH KIDDING. And please let me know if I should delete and replace w/ a non-snarky comment insead.)

Uh, yeah, me too. We snark because we love.

Oh, Seanie. Hey, we were going to have an actual phone conversation, weren't we? Let's make that happen.

and i kind of worry that this new way of "being me" is pretty much permanent.

I can guarantee that is not true. First of all, people aren't that immutable. Second of all, you in particular are fairly mercurial.

Aw, Sean--depression is a liar. I know that doesn't help when you are in the middle of it, but the world it shows to you is not the real world. In the real world, your friends value you and care about you, even if you can't value yourself right now.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you, Sean. Although I think not. I just like "Catch-22". Dear OKC Guy, who offered to let me grope him in his car, Dude, you better look like Don Draper and make deals like Ari Gold to get by with that. Also, you don't know what "modest" means, either by word or by nature. And I don't care what Mystery taught you...women don't secretly dig that from strangers. At least, this one doesn't. Unless your last name is "Emanuel", shut the fuck up.(Yes, I admit it...that whole family could totally trash-talk me and I'd think it was hot instead of assholey, but they have powers. Project managers from Mesa, nsm.) And then, there was the television-obsessed asexual with low self-esteem from last week...take "lusting in my heart" out of the equation and it sounds like I already have one of those, without the annoying and useless hose attachment.

sigh...this was supposed to be the best year of my life or I was going to kill myself. Holy Retcon, Batman.