Good luck, Aimee.

Also good luck Typo--no ideas other than "stop watching". Even though I think Rachel Maddow is super hot, I can't watch on any kind of regular basis because it raises my BP too much. Heck, after the 2004 election I stopped listenin to NPR on my morning commute because it all pissed me off too much.

Survived redeye from Lima (yay window seat). Even slept a tiny bit. But now I'm stuck in a middle seat on the six hour flight MIA-SEA...which I booked on alaska with the specific idea that since I've got huge status on them, I'd get a decent seat. WTF!?!?!

I cannot abide couples who are nasty/insult/mean to each other in public.

I think it was in Blink (the book by Malcolm Gladwell, not the Who ep by Stephen Moffat) that a researcher had an amazing rate of predicting whether couples would stay together, and it turns out it was based pretty much entirely on whether they were rude to each other.

I only get my news from NPR, I don't watch any tv news at all. And still I have to change the channel to happy fun music or pop in a cd sometimes. I don't understand the hatefulness I see on the Republican side, the absolute failure to give a shit about anyone less fortunate, the remarkable tendency of poor Republicans to vote against their own interests, and the complete failure of the Democrats to represent anything other than weaksauce Republicans.

Ahem. As you can see, I still get pretty angry. And my current job has lowered my tolerance, given the population I work with, because I see firsthand how fucking impossible their lives are. When it gets to be too much, I listen to something nice and defiant like Danger Days, or New Orleans music, which is great for being joyful in the midst of sorrow. And then I have a drink on my porch and vent with my roommate, if she's home.

I'd like to add that I know not all individual Republicans are like that; I was referring to the overwhelming political narrative and legislative priorities being advanced.

Also, a small antidote to the anger that a friend linked on fb: [link]

Every time he climbs into my arms for a snuggle, I put some effort into soaking up the moment, putting away thoughts of the past, or fears for the future.

Yup. I try to do this about three times a day. When we cuddle in the morning, after a playtime in the afternoon and a massage/cuddle in the evening.

I'm so grateful for every day.

I knew I was in massive stress when, during the legal crisis at the beginning of the week, I actually asked him to go away from me. I wasn't mean to him, but just noticing that I was doing it was a reminder to breathe and get myself straight.

By the grace of god and modern medicine, Bartleby was able to be in his crate for 10 hours last night. I left the door ajar, so he could get out if he needed to...though he would have to be in super distress to push that boundary...so I took him out twice in the night. It seemed like a miracle.

Today, my energy is trashed...which is what happens when I am walking the tightrope for days at a time. But that is okay. I'll pound some caffeine and get moving with the carpet cleaner this week has necessitated.

Yay for the corner being turned!

I think it was in Blink (the book by Malcolm Gladwell, not the Who ep by Stephen Moffat) that a researcher had an amazing rate of predicting whether couples would stay together, and it turns out it was based pretty much entirely on whether they were rude to each other.

The relationship expert in question is John Gottman. The prediction rate for whether or not a couple will be together after 5 years when contempt is part of their language process is 95%.

This would seem like common sense, but you'd be amazed by the number of couples who indulge in this activity rather just walking away from each other.

The relationship expert in question is John Gottman. The prediction rate for whether or not a couple will be together after 5 years when contempt is part of their language process is 95%.

This would seem like common sense, but you'd be amazed by the number of couples who indulge in this activity rather just walking away from each other.

When I do something really boneheaded -- like drop the plastic gallon of milk on the kitchen floor, only to see the plastic split vertically and spew forth a tidal wave of 2% -- I actually still physically brace myself to get yelled at.

Tim has *never,* EVER yelled at me, called me stupid or other names, or otherwise engaged in that kind of behavior. Ever. And after 5 years (3 of them living together), I *still* expect to get excoriated for mistakes.

I say that *not* to blame my mom -- I'm almost 40, and I'm trying really hard to own my shit, and while she might be the source of that shit, it's up to me how to deal with it as an adult -- but just to marvel over how goddamned ingrained it is.

And let me tell you how HARD it has been on my end to *not* pull the "Oh my GOD, what were you THINKING? Or WERE you even thinking?" crap, because that's just how I learned to "relate" to people.

I think a large part of why I don't is because Tim doesn't, and since he's set that tone, it makes my bad reaction stand out, and it points out that there's another option to me of how to treat him. Also, of course, I *do* respect him and want how I treat him to be consistent with that. (And, you know, I love him and stuff.)

(It's a testament to how fucked-up my unbringing was that my mom has commented to me, "He treats you *really* well...and you seem to treat him really well, too." Not in a tone of Wow, I'm so happy for you, but in a tone of, Wow...that's really weird.)

t /overshare

I think a large part of why I don't is because Tim doesn't, and since he's set that tone,

I am Steph, except that mine is a Greg. And he doesn't look as good in a dress...at least so far as I know, anyway.

Thanks for the addendum, smonster. I tend to get sad during these conversations because I do have right leaning family members who do care and are doing lots of stuff, within the confines of their ideology. But I understand how the overlying political narrative reads.
 
That`s not oversharing, Steph, that`s a lovely testament to your relationship. It`s a geeky thing, but I was playing Sims while I was sick and one sim broke the sink and the other one scolded her. And I was thinking to myself that the SO never does scold like that, and how awesome he was. So yay for you and Tim.

probiotics

Pearls it is! My local drugpusher (CVS) carries them. Thanks, Steph.

I don't have the bottle with me. It was whatever was cheapest at Walgreen's.

It's probably whatever's cheapest at CVS, too, then!

I'm also paranoid about getting sick from lowering my immune system while AT A CON.

Taking probiotics can also bolster your immune system. Just another thing those awesome little bugs do for us! I heart my intestinal flora.

Welcome back home, Cass.

bonny, I'm glad both you and Bartleby are feeling better.

If contempt is such a strong predictor of whether couples will break up, why do I see so many people (mostly women) staying with partners who are openly contemptuous of them? Two of my friends just had babies with their awful men and I hate to think what their home lives must be like.

I have my kitties home (bye, monies, I will miss you) and a whole laptop with a big enough screen and a full typey typey keyboard. Whooooo, home.

And, um, a million things to do, no food or milk for coffee and a pile of laundry that I fear. Whooo, home?

Home awesome. Now if it would warm up enough for me to deal with all of the crap in my car. Until then, I try to remember how to use my dvr.

I fear the laundry as well, and in my case it's totally unjustified because the only parts I can deal with are already washed and folded, they just need putting away. The part I hate the most.

We need a new dryer before I can tackle the rest of the laundry. Until then, it's laundromats and washing at grandma's house.