It sounds like more structure can only be good.

And, if that isn't enough, there really is no sitgma at this age to holding her back. Which is good as well.

Yeah, now`s the best time to do it. Although I will say, I was the youngest in my class, always, and the physically smallest, and painfully shy, easily embarrassed. And I was fine. In fact, when I was able to finish early, it was a huge relief, so if I`d been held back to start I would have been miserable. So it is possible, although I wasn`t having to deal with some of what Em is.

Cass, admit it, you're a natural born firestarter. We should just send you out with an extinguisher strapped to your back and a red box saying PULL IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.

Yes! And then the rest of us will place bets on how long it will take you to set the extinguisher on fire.

I'm done with B. Please wish me some strength to not throw myself at him when I am in his presence next month. He didn't do anything wrong... I'm just cutting myself off for my own good.

I'm with you smonster. Anytime you need to borrow some strength, or belief in your higher good, I'm there.

And blessing on the bomb-diggity therapist. Three cheers for you both!

I'm done with B. Please wish me some strength to not throw myself at him when I am in his presence next month. He didn't do anything wrong... I'm just cutting myself off for my own good.

you know that I'm on speed dial!

My ADHD looks like this: I get overwhelmed, I shut down and don't do anything. I think that Em does the same. And the more pressure she gets, the more she shuts down.

Not a parent, or a teacher, but I have some pretty clear memories of what early elementary school feels like for a girl with ADD - I totally see all your points countering their reasoning. I do not know what the ultimate best answer is, but I do strongly believe that a more structured environment will help - particularly if part of that structure reduces the pressure situations for Em. Pressure to perform, can futz up the performance of a kid with ADD like nobody's business. When I was in second and third grade, those damned timed math fact tests were the bane of my existence. And my teacher thought I just did not know them, couldn't do math, until some standardized test revealed a better picture of my skill level. When Mrs. Boyd realized that the problem was more about performing under pressure, she and my parents were able to help me work on the performance so that my accomplishments in class better reflected my abilities. Having both the structure that will work for Em, and a teacher who is on Em's side, will make a difference.

Cass, that was a scary story about you and your dad on that plane. I'm glad you weren't on fire.

{{{{smonster}}}}

Strength, smonster. It can be hard to make that call but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Yes! And then the rest of us will place bets on how long it will take you to set the extinguisher on fire.

I feel like the flammable court jester.

I'm done with B. Please wish me some strength to not throw myself at him when I am in his presence next month. He didn't do anything wrong... I'm just cutting myself off for my own good.

Vortex is on speed dial, and I'm on "Late night phone calls aren't so late on the west coast" dial! And yay for liking your therapist.

Aimee, I think everything you say makes sense. It definitely sounds like a change to a more structured environment might help. Lord knows the few times in elementary school I was supposed to be working at my own pace, I'd do like, three things quick, slack off forever, and then do whatever the minimum to catch up was (all procrastinatey and not done well). And my arithmetic skills were never speedy, so I was shocked in 6th grade when I was one of only a few kids who tested into the super-advanced-take-algebra-early group. Arithmetic speed is overrated. Would any place she goes have the option of working ahead/above grade level? So that if you did hold her back, she could get extra where she's weak and so on? Cause that might really be a good plan. Especially if you can't manage to switch her mid-year like you want. I was one of the youngest and smallest, also, and it only rarely bothered me. But also consider the future--even if it doesn't matter now, will she be unable to get her driver's license/go to PG13 movies/drink until waaaaaay after all her friends have? (In college, there were a couple of our friends who'd skipped a grade...and couldn't drink at graduation. Which SUCKED)

My ADHD looks like this: I get overwhelmed, I shut down and don't do anything.

Yup, mine too.

And mine. As Windsparrow and others have said, I think the structure will help. I know left to my own devices my attention would be on the pictures in my head, and I'd be miles away from what I was supposed to be doing.

Bobby sounds like StY, who was in the gifted program because he tested so high, and who was incapable of focus, unless it was ultra-uber-scary-narrow focus, which trait he got from me. But he was charming and helpful and so much fun his teachers adored him. Except for the retirement-aged crone who handed out mimeoed sheets to the boys and kept the girls in story circle most of the day. She had no use for loud, dirty, icky boys. I tried to have him transfered to another class, but he cried to stay. He didn't want to disappoint her!

But for him, and for me, our ADD benefited most from a dependable structured environment. Less far to wander.

I was youngest in my class through high school--being so did me no favors, at all.

You and Joe are concerned, involved parents and Em's a lucky daughter.