Oh, that's terrible, sj. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about your cousin, DJ, and it looks like you're honoring him in such a way that he'd wish he were there.

sj, it is such an awful feeling to be close to someone when something like this happens.

Years ago, the very, very good friends of my boyfriend were expecting twins. For some reason, a week before the projected end of an otherwise totally healthy pregnancy, somebody decided that they needed to do an amnio. As the result of a tragic medical error, both babies died.

I had no idea what to say. What can you say? So, I cooked. A lot. Perhaps too much. That couple and their toddler son didn't have to cook for about a month by the time I slowed down.

There is just no understanding an event like the one sj's friends are coping with.

Ultimately, I've taken on a notion I got from an episode of "Life Goes On", of all places.

One of the characters has a miscarriage and an older man who clearly loves her, plays a wooden flute outside her window. He explains that, during the war in Asia, he learned that sometimes a soul just isn't meant to stay. He played to flute to accompany the soul on its way.

It chokes me up every time I hear about a loss like this and, though I don't know for sure if souls go anywhere, I'd like to think so.

So, I'll say to that dear little baby, Godspeed Sweetheart. And to the parents, may your broken hearts hold together and some time heal enough to keep them going.

It's really his widow who has decided how he's going to be celebrated. Were it up to certain other members of the family, there'd be a stupid ceremony at a church no one went to followed by an hour and a half drive back to where the whole thing should have been in the first place.

Then it is abundantly clear he married the right woman.

There can't be a BoRita without a Bo and Rita.

DJ, I'm so sorry.

sj, I'm very sorry for your friends.

I had no idea what to say. What can you say? So, I cooked. A lot. Perhaps too much.

That's not a bad impulse.

DJ, I'm so sorry, but glad his wife is there to give him the right send-off.

sj, I'm just heartbroken for what your friends are going through.

So, I'll say to that dear little baby, Godspeed Sweetheart. And to the parents, may your broken hearts hold together and some time heal enough to keep them going.

This. Because I can't think of a better way to say it.

I'm sorry, DJ.

Super long post that was posted in LJ, but thought I'd post here as well for those what aren't on LJ anymore.

So Emeline's teachers are of the opinion that she needs to be retained this year and repeat 1st grade again. Their reasons are as follows in bold; my responses are in plain text:

• Maturity issues due to her being the youngest 1st grader in the school. They say that she still has too many meltdowns and fits over things.

She is and she does. Had I been in labor another 10 hours, she'd be in Kindergarten this year. However, she has also been diagnosed and is being treated for ADHD. Kids with ADHD are about 30% behind in their maturity levels from their non-ADHD classmates. Also, she has been on Adderall which has a side affect of anxiety, as well as other things, that can contribute to meltdowns and whatnot. We have switched her meds to Concerta with the hopes of alleviating some of these issues. Joe and I also believe there is a larger issue which I will talk about later. Also, she is going through a phase where she is easily embarrassed and shuts down pretty easily if she feels she is being laughed or stared at or held in a regard less than the Queen receives. I take full blame for this, having the same issues.

• Fluency issues in certain subjects. Math is not as fluent as they want it to be - she doesn't give the answers to problems as quickly as they think she should be. Problems like 4+5 or 6-1. She can do it on her fingers if given a minute, but she's not just spouting out the answers by rote memory. They say she is also not as fluent in sentence structure [capitalization, identifying parts of speech beyond verbs and nouns (the class has received lessons on articles, prepositions, and adjectives)]. There are also "issues" with her out loud reading - she's not as good at it as they believe she should be.

However, she sat at the table the other day and read a grade level 2.7 book to us, with no interventions from Joe and me. She sounded out what she didn't know and got through the whole book. It was "Knuffle Bunny Free", for those what are interested. She reads to herself in bed and in the car and all the time. She loves books. She also loves writing. She does not have the mechanics down pat, nor do I think she should at first freaking grade. As for the math, like I said she can do it, and does do it with us at home just fine, working from her fingers or counting on or using any number of strategies that she's been taught in school. Again, I think there is a bigger issue that is at work here.

• Inability to keep on task. Being a Montessori classroom, the kids basically choose their jobs. They are guided as to which jobs need to be prioritized each day and week, and they are expected to get approximately 4 - 5 jobs done per day. Emeline rarely hits those goals, even with guidance from her teachers, me, and other educators in the classroom. She is all about chattering and rarely does she venture out of the language room and into the math room, being the creativity driven girl that she is.

This actually puts her in the majority of the class, specifically the girls - in general. The boys, in general, I have observed, pretty much bust their asses. They (mostly) have to be pushed into the language room - they would rather spend their time all on math and more analytical things. Some are the opposite, but mostly they want All Math and Science, All the Time. And for the most part, they get closer to the 20-25 jobs per week goal than the girls. This, I have read, is pretty typical for boys of this age group. The girls, in general, are the opposite. Again, some are not, but in general. However, most of the girls do not make it very close to the 20-25 jobs for the week. The main reason? Development of 6 year old girls. They are all about two things: A) Talking. And B) Fucking Talking. ALL they do is chatter chatter chatter. All the time with the chattering. They love working by committee because they CAN FREAKING CHATTER. In this aspect, Emeline is right on par with her peers. (continued...)