The instant queue is about trying to find things. Since the Xbox let's me scroll through them all, the order doesn't matter.

I keep trying to sleep and failing, which is ridiculous given how utterly drained I am. I've been thinking about being alone at night. There are different kinds. There's alone at night because you are single, and alone at night because you live by yourself. Alone because your partner comes to bed much later than you do, and alone because he is traveling and you are not. Alone because he is in the hospital is different from all of these. I am alone at night a lot, but usually it is because of our opposite hours or business travel. Those aren't fun either, but this alone is emptier than any of the rest.

Not looking for hugs. Just pondering as I try to sleep. You know when you've stayed up too long and gone past "teaspoon state" (I love that Nilly-ism...or is it just a Hebrew phrase?) and into nothing-seems-quite-real land? That's where I am. And I've been sleeping at night at least 6-7 hours, so it's absurd to be this disconnected and tired. I feel a little like I'm going crazy. I think the hospital does that. Too much time sitting next to beeping machines watching the person I love more than anyone fight to get better.

Stress is tiring.

It is. I think it's finally catching up with me. A good night's sleep will help. I've been trying to avoid taking anything because I'm worried I'm taking Ambien too frequently this week, but I think I may just need to bite the bullet. I mean, gods, they use Thorazine to treat hiccups. I probably need to stop worrying about a little sleep aid to actually aid sleep.

I hope you sleep well and that it's restful.

Thanks. And you should sleep too. It's late for us both.

Yeah, I hope to hit the sack soon. My hours are turned around.

Pix and Spidra, I hope you'll have a good night rest.

"teaspoon state" (I love that Nilly-ism...or is it just a Hebrew phrase?

Hebrew slang, indeed. I had no idea Nilly taught you that! (There's also "bicycle state", when you're dead tired but in momentum, and if you'll stop paddling/doing something you'll fall off your bike and crash).

I think I missed learning about teaspoon state. What is it? I get bicycle state, though - I've been there a time or two.

Pix, I hope you took an Ambien. This is what it's for, dear friend. This is when you need it most. Don't give yourself a hard time about needing it.