Mal: Which one you figure tracked us? Zoe: The ugly one, sir. Mal: Could you be more specific?

'Out Of Gas'


Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Barb - Jan 14, 2011 7:37:00 am PST #13191 of 30000
“Not dead yet!”

Andi, I don't find myself assaulted by those types of anxieties/thoughts, so I'm afraid I have absolutely no useful suggestions for you. I do wish I could take a baseball bat to those thoughts and banish them completely, but alas, not a viable option.

I've heard people say that they love being alone with their thoughts.

Music without words is the same as silence to my brain.

This is why I love us-- we're so different. Although, again, I hate that such things can affect people I care about so negatively. But yeah, I'm one of those who loves driving long distances because I like being alone in my head. It's when I do my most effective brainstorming for story ideas. It's as if being in the car, with nothing else to do, gives me permission to just sit and plot and think. And all of that is also aided by music-- words or no words, makes no nevermind to me. NPR, on the other hand or any other kind of talk radio makes me twitchy and ragey. It's one reason I have satellite radio in my car-- I've gotten to where I can't even tolerate commercials.


erikaj - Jan 14, 2011 7:43:45 am PST #13192 of 30000
Always Anti-fascist!

Andi, I have an actual e-mail full of good stuff people have said to me about, you know, articles, fic, my tennis shoes, or whatever, and when I get bummed out I reread the things.


Daisy Jane - Jan 14, 2011 7:45:52 am PST #13193 of 30000
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."

I sometimes hate being alone with my thoughts. I sing a song to myself, "100 Little Ducks" For some reason keeping up with what number I'm on distracts me just enough that I don't have time to form a complete thought.


Scrappy - Jan 14, 2011 7:57:35 am PST #13194 of 30000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

My former therapist said she usually recommended that her clients try to recognize and process unsettling thoughts but that I had the opposite problem--I recognized them, but then could not let them go. She told me to distract myself form what we named the "death spiral." Sounds like you might be the same, Andi!

If I am around media, I will read/watch/listen to something which is powerful enough to counteract the darkness. If I am driving, I sing out loud, which seems to push thoughts out. It has to be a song you need to think about a bit as you sing, like one with complicated lyrics or big emotions to act out. In bed, I will set tasks like the music chain. I usually try to picture every bedroom I have ever had in my life, and see how many details I can remember.


Ginger - Jan 14, 2011 8:18:55 am PST #13195 of 30000
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

Singing is good. As Scrappy said, songs that either take some thought or things that are very happy. Songs that require thought that I sing include "The 12 Days of Christmas," "The Carol of the Numbers" [link] and even "The Ants Go Marching" and "99 Bottles of Beer."


Daisy Jane - Jan 14, 2011 8:28:52 am PST #13196 of 30000
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."

My duck song [link]


Fred Pete - Jan 14, 2011 8:52:41 am PST #13197 of 30000
Ann, that's a ferret.

Just in case anyone cared:

(Music Trivia: Name two ways to get from Elton to Stevie Wonder.)

(1) Both were Dionne Warwick's (non-psychic) Friends ("That's What Friends Are For").

(2) There are several ways to get from Elton to John Lennon, such as singing backup on each other's songs ("Whatever Gets You Through the Night," "Island Girl"). Lennon and Paul McCartney were both Beatles. Paul dueted with Stevie ("Ebony and Ivory").


WindSparrow - Jan 14, 2011 8:54:15 am PST #13198 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Andi, I have an actual e-mail full of good stuff people have said to me about, you know, articles, fic, my tennis shoes, or whatever, and when I get bummed out I reread the things.

This idea makes me wish for glow-in-the-dark toner for the printer. Then I'd print out all the well-wishes from this thread to take with me. (I did mark the start of them so I could go back and bask later if I needed a boost.) Of course, reading it while driving might not be the best idea.

Ooo, Windsparrow, or maybe a cd of go-to feel good songs. Really, the more tools you have, the more likely you'll find one that works for you in a given situation.

Music does help me a lot. I've gotten away from it, in the past few years, but I need to bring it back into my life. The challenge for that particular situation is the sound system in my car is limited, so playing music for distraction would necessitate cranking up the volume to a level that is uncomfortable, to compensate for the road noise at highway speeds. I think that the same goes for spoken word stuff.

She told me to distract myself form what we named the "death spiral." Sounds like you might be the same, Andi!

It's totally a death spiral - the whole train of thought is an imaginary conversation with an unsympathetic doctor, so it carries with it all kinds of rationale and reasoning - attempts as processing it just get sucked back into it.

Singing is good. As Scrappy said, songs that either take some thought or things that are very happy. Songs that require thought that I sing include "The 12 Days of Christmas," "The Carol of the Numbers" [link], and even "The Ants Go Marching" and "99 Bottles of Beer."

I want to give this a try. I need to write a list of song ideas on an index card in big enough print that I would be able to see it at night, maybe keep it on the dash board, so that it is right there when needed.


WindSparrow - Jan 14, 2011 8:58:44 am PST #13199 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

My duck song [link]

Oh, hey, I like that one. It's way less sexist than the version I learned.


beekaytee - Jan 14, 2011 9:13:54 am PST #13200 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant

Steph, I believe bonny recommends feeding the dog canned pumpkin or sweet potato to help cushion the foreign object, as soon as possible after consumption. Much passing-safely~ma to Chloe.

Thanks smonster! I was racing to the end to say the same.

Most times, a dog will be fine, but the canned fiber really does help AND provides a handy reassurance for the person.