Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
My former therapist said she usually recommended that her clients try to recognize and process unsettling thoughts but that I had the opposite problem--I recognized them, but then could not let them go. She told me to distract myself form what we named the "death spiral." Sounds like you might be the same, Andi!
If I am around media, I will read/watch/listen to something which is powerful enough to counteract the darkness. If I am driving, I sing out loud, which seems to push thoughts out. It has to be a song you need to think about a bit as you sing, like one with complicated lyrics or big emotions to act out. In bed, I will set tasks like the music chain. I usually try to picture every bedroom I have ever had in my life, and see how many details I can remember.
Singing is good. As Scrappy said, songs that either take some thought or things that are very happy. Songs that require thought that I sing include "The 12 Days of Christmas," "The Carol of the Numbers" [link] and even "The Ants Go Marching" and "99 Bottles of Beer."
Just in case anyone cared:
(Music Trivia: Name two ways to get from Elton to Stevie Wonder.)
(1) Both were Dionne Warwick's (non-psychic) Friends ("That's What Friends Are For").
(2) There are several ways to get from Elton to John Lennon, such as singing backup on each other's songs ("Whatever Gets You Through the Night," "Island Girl"). Lennon and Paul McCartney were both Beatles. Paul dueted with Stevie ("Ebony and Ivory").
Andi, I have an actual e-mail full of good stuff people have said to me about, you know, articles, fic, my tennis shoes, or whatever, and when I get bummed out I reread the things.
This idea makes me wish for glow-in-the-dark toner for the printer. Then I'd print out all the well-wishes from this thread to take with me. (I did mark the start of them so I could go back and bask later if I needed a boost.) Of course, reading it while driving might not be the best idea.
Ooo, Windsparrow, or maybe a cd of go-to feel good songs. Really, the more tools you have, the more likely you'll find one that works for you in a given situation.
Music does help me a lot. I've gotten away from it, in the past few years, but I need to bring it back into my life. The challenge for that particular situation is the sound system in my car is limited, so playing music for distraction would necessitate cranking up the volume to a level that is uncomfortable, to compensate for the road noise at highway speeds. I think that the same goes for spoken word stuff.
She told me to distract myself form what we named the "death spiral." Sounds like you might be the same, Andi!
It's totally a death spiral - the whole train of thought is an imaginary conversation with an unsympathetic doctor, so it carries with it all kinds of rationale and reasoning - attempts as processing it just get sucked back into it.
Singing is good. As Scrappy said, songs that either take some thought or things that are very happy. Songs that require thought that I sing include "The 12 Days of Christmas," "The Carol of the Numbers" [link], and even "The Ants Go Marching" and "99 Bottles of Beer."
I want to give this a try. I need to write a list of song ideas on an index card in big enough print that I would be able to see it at night, maybe keep it on the dash board, so that it is right there when needed.
My duck song [link]
Oh, hey, I like that one. It's way less sexist than the version I learned.
Steph, I believe bonny recommends feeding the dog canned pumpkin or sweet potato to help cushion the foreign object, as soon as possible after consumption. Much passing-safely~ma to Chloe.
Thanks smonster! I was racing to the end to say the same.
Most times, a dog will be fine, but the canned fiber really does help AND provides a handy reassurance for the person.
Andi, back when ruminating thoughts were running my life, I devised a plan to get some help. Instead of counting on myself to stop the flow, I began imagining the thoughts being played on a big screen in my mind. Mega sized. Then, I visualized the screen cracking like an egg and shattering into a million pieces on the ground. Then, a little old guy in coveralls enters stage left and sweeps up the pieces ala Emmett Kelly. I may even say 'sweep, sweep' in my mind.
Not sure where the images came from, but the screen made them 'flat' (therefore less real and threatening) and the idea of putting the clean up in 'someone else's hands' stopped me from feeling like a failure for not being able to 'just stop THINKING about it!'
I can't even tell you how many years I have used that one.
The point is, I think, finding a mental process that works for you by being action oriented and not associated with the thought content itself. The more you think about the thought, the less able you are to disconnect from it. Does that make sense?
bonny, I've marked that post. I have the feeling I will want to come back to it.
Sweet crispy jaysus, this combination of migraine and sinus pressure is trying to kill me. And I have to go be sparkling in front of seventh grade language arts classes in an hour.