that is why I donwel wig them.

I don't know what it means to "donwel wig" someone, but I bet you do it well.

Actually, I think posting my best self keeps me in touch with her/it, but I can't always do that.

ah, I see. I think that you all need to work some carrots into your system.

You know, I've been thinking that, too. I had stopped doing the behavior mod charts, and maybe I shouldn't have. There aren't any other rewards or privileges built in, but maybe there need to be. Hmm.

Liese, thank you so much for those words. I try my best to be honest and not force connections, to be honest about who I am. Listening to them talk amongst themselves is really valuable, because they tend to share more that way than in direct conversation with me.

amyth, I talked about that just yesterday in an update meeting with the higher-ups, and I think they heard me. There is one graduate working with us now, and that's helpful, but sometime he gets a little talky meat.

Everyone, really, thank you. Y'all are my sanity and touchstone, my sounding board and my voice of reason.

Today could really be over now, but I still have a client to see this evening.

I spent some time with the lawyer going over options. It did not go as I would have chosen, but the attorney is a super nice guy. Perhaps even a little too nice. Still, it's nice to have him on my side.

I made a bunch of phone calls to finance offices and, while proactive and good, it was pretty stressful. (my eye is twitching, which is a really bad sign)

Then, I went to my hairdresser to prepare for doing some video shooting tomorrow evening. She cut my ear and it hurts like crazy and THEN, she chopped off my bangs to Mia Farrow with Frank Sinatra length and I am so. incredibly. unhappy. What the ever loving WHAT!?!

She's cut my hair perfectly, every time but not on the day when I really needed it.

I'm so, incredibly tired and cranky and feh. Hair grows, things will get done and I can put off the video shoot but I really want to yell.

Feh.

t /whining

DJ and erika and all, I apologize for being so mememe during the day. I can only use my phone during the two 15 minute breaks and half hour for lunch, and I needed to vent.

DJ, I'd be angry, too. And I'm a very public person.

erika, we love you because you do try to be your best self, and because you're funny and intelligent. If you were all Pollyanna, you wouldn't be you.

bonny, uggh. I'm sorry that things aren't going your way, and hell yeah a haircut can make or break one's week.

Yeah, and listening to them talk to each other is great! They know you`re there; make no mistake, they wouldn`t tell each other stuff in your hearing without intending it. I had two girls do that to me the other day. I walked up on their conversation and plopped myself down. They made eye contact, and then very deliberately kept on talking to each other. They explained that there was a fight between groups and that was why half my class didn`t turn up for our year end party. They told me who was involved and what was said and where things stood. All without ever looking at me or talking in any way except to each other. I never said a word or acknowledged that I heard them. But it was a great way for them to tell me without telling me, which they found impossible to do.

bonny, uggh. I'm sorry that things aren't going your way, and hell yeah a haircut can make or break one's week.

Right!

And it wouldn't be so bad if I could just watch stupid tv or something to distract myself but my ear bugging the crap out of me.

The hairdresser had been drinking, which contributed to her sloppy scissor work, so we are going to have to have a talk. Plus, she said something about never having done that in 15 years. Well, I could believe that, except the box of bandages she pulled out was a box I bought for her when she cut herself a while ago.

Eh. Nevermind. I'm going to go soak my head...and pull on my bangs. That will make them grow faster, right?

I desperately need a haircut -- my hair is getting all scraggly. I keep thinking about going short-ish like [link] but then chickening out. I need to find a stylist I trust first.

I'm also browsing through a Latin vegan cookbook that I just bought, and I want to make everything. This will take some planning, though -- there are a bunch of recipes for different types of beans and rice and vegetables and sauces, and most of the actual meal recipes are putting together bits of three or four of those, so if I don't plan this right, I'll end up with half a recipe of 20 different things in my fridge. (Not that that's necessarily a bad thing.) Also need to find out if Wegman's sells plantains.

I'm going to go soak my head...and pull on my bangs. That will make them grow faster, right?

You know what might help? Just using a little more eyebrow pencil to make your eyebrows pop a bit more to pull attention down. Short pixie cuts work when they bring attention to the eyes, and you have pretty eyes, so that could work.

A little eyeliner and bang, you're the girl with the edgy haircut and the mesmerizing eyes.

You know what might help? Just using a little more eyebrow pencil to make your eyebrows pop a bit more to pull attention down. Short pixie cuts work when they bring attention to the eyes

David! That is fantastic advice...really constructive...which is truly priceless, in my current mood.

It just so happens that I picked up one of those huge makeup collections with the 27 eye shadows, 3 blushes, 15 lip glosses, etc. in a holiday bin at the CVS. It featured 4 eyebrow pencils to go along with a lovely dark brown kohl I got from a friend.

This is going to be the week I experiment with it.

Sincerely, thank you. You've lifted my spirits considerably with a a doable plan. Cheers.