maybe don't discuss it publicly with your buddies?

I've been reluctant to talk much about Sharon on Facebook because my other sister is also there, and our experience of grief is quite different. She has a far more religious outlook, and I'm reluctant to do much musing on the subject of death where she will see. She is also more upset than I (which is to be expected, as they were more in touch with each other) whereas I've been expecting it for months. Fortunately, I've got the Buffistas to talk with, so she can have Facebook for her online grieving.

Sorry about the self-pity earlier...my life can just seem quite discouraging and sometimes? It's the little stupid stuff that brings it out. Also, I watched the Drew Barrymore "Grey Gardens" this week, and as well made as it was, the last thing on this planet I ever needed to see, living with my mother and all, was a deluded mother and daughter living on fantasy, denial, and Bouvier crumbs. "Faces of Death"(do they still make those?) would be a better choice!

Vortex, one of the problems is that we have a limited range of consequences, basically sending them home without pay, which doesn't seem to have much of an impact, and termination.

I wouldn't mind if it were grieving I don't think. Just discussing auctioning off my uncle's things so casually is sending me into...I don't even know.

He had some awesome things. Tulip vases from Holland, an old stained glass window from a church where he did the flowers that was torn down, King Tut memorabilia from the first US tour. Reading about how much these things are worth, and people who didn't even know him discussing it makes me want to throttle the lot of them through the screen.

Now she's talking about his bank statements and legal papers and how it's "just sad." STFU.

Vortex, one of the problems is that we have a limited range of consequences, basically sending them home without pay, which doesn't seem to have much of an impact, and termination.

ah, I see. I think that you all need to work some carrots into your system. It doesn't work as well when it's all sticks. (which is, in fact, one of my pet peeves about this job)

I wouldn't mind if it were grieving I don't think.

Forgive me for this, but I got to the part about the King Tut memorabilia, and I thought, "I wonder what the contact information is for possibly getting that . . ."

Kudos to your uncle for having really nifty stuff.

He did really cool stuff to get the nifty stuff, to her it's just nice looking shit she can sell.

It sounds like my mother's reaction when I wanted Daddy's class ring. It's heartbreaking when others don't understand that stuff has meaning other than monetary--or think that's the only value you put on something.

edit: In an interesting aside, I finally looked up the hallmark on one of the rings I found in Mother's jewelry box, and it turns out to be from a particularly collectible maker from the 20's and 30's. The ring is probably worth between $200-500. I wonder if she had any idea.

No, DJ, thats totally frustrating. That's something that should be discussed within the family.

erika, don't sweat it. We all have moments of self-pity, and if we only showed our best selves on here, then what would be the point? And sometimes it is the small everyday stuff that gets to you rather than the heavier loads that we shoulder, who knows why? And random things/shows just trigger sometimes, and it sucks. I'm sorry. Also, you're a Buffista: your hair is awesome. Comes with the territory.

smonster, I wish I had some awesome advice to give you, but it sounds like the system isn't really set up for success. Like you were saying, the rewards and consequences they have set up don't really work, at least not for most of them. What you need, like you've said in the past, is for them to have a set of graduates from the program working alongside them, so that they can see people like them who have come through the program successfully, and see them doing the work, or at the very least have a construction crew on-site, so that they can see how a fully functional crew works. Until the higher-ups get that, they are going to have limited success rates at best, and it's got nothing to do with any failing on your part.

Still thinking about and vibing hard for Andi and DCJ.