Plei - this is a book that is next on my list [link] . I am already using some of the techniques with good results. The book may be WAY more than your needs, but I bet the strategies would be in the right vein if she reacts opposite what is expected to consequence/reward approaches.

Round robin alert: smonster, I got the box, thank you! Jesse, give me a day or two and it'll be on the way to you.

Jake is *still* oppositional and defiant at eighteen. We've never found one technique that works consistently with him. Ben and Sara being so mild-mannered is a relief.

Interesting collection of interviews with showrunners and lead writers.

ita, do you know what John Rogers' Worst Experience was? Was it Eureka?

Thanks, msbelle! I suspect it is a harder-core version of the book we're trying.

Matilda and Emmett both respond pretty well to a combination of carrots and sticks. Emmett was way more likely to have a tantrum, but Matilda is much more likely to go limp with a sitdown strike or drag her feet or kill the outing with a thousand tiny cuts.

I mostly focus on behavior and timeouts as response to changing behavior. I purposefully try to leave them space for resentment and unhappiness and whatever emotional responses they're going to have. I'm not in charge of their feelings. They're just responsible for their behavior.

That noted, I'm nsm a hardass and I've also learned not to draw a lot of arbitrary lines in the sand. There are a few specific things that will warrant a timeout.

My biggest lesson came early with Emmett when he was at his most frustrating. And I had to just learn to not let myself get angry or emotionally engaged with that frustration and slow down and look him in the face and see him as a person.

And while I try to be consistent about it, there are definitely times where the best thing to do is let them off the hook. When you can see their anxiety about the issue is really eating them up.

I remember my parents doing that with me sometimes and it was always such a huge relief and engendered a lot of gratitude and willingness to work with them. Just knowing that they could bend.

Children from lesbian families rated higher in social, academic and total competence. They also showed lower rates in social, rule-breaking, aggressive problem behavior

HAHAHAHAHA. Except for the rule breaking that my son demonstrates.

Noah and Grace are going to need therapy and soon. As will I, I think.

I'm trying to avoid work drama, but it's to little avail.

do you know what John Rogers' Worst Experience was? Was it Eureka?

No, it wasn't.

These Aren’t The Droids You’re Looking For…

In re-reading, I wasn't especially clear.

Obviously expressing my anger, frustration etc. is not especially useful to anyone except for me.

One of my students who is 8 months pregnant has an F and is mad that I won't accept a piece of work that might have made her pass. She wants to fight it, which is whatever. But she hsn't been here to do friday's work or today's work so even if I accept the 10 point assignment from before ("I did it, I just forgot to turn it in") she will still fail because she's missing Friday and Today.

ARGH.

Also, it's the 66 absences this year and the 16 absences from my class alone and the fact that she took the class in the fall and failed that are the issues.

Not one fucking 10 point assignment.

These Aren’t The Droids You’re Looking For…

Speaking of Droids, the kids in my hometown have been at it again:

[link]