Inara: Who's winning? Simon: I can't tell. They don't seem to be playing by any civilized rules that I know.

'Bushwhacked'


Natter 66: Get Your Kicks.  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, pandas, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Vortex - Sep 28, 2010 8:46:25 pm PDT #26701 of 30001
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman

I think that you can, you should try to avoid platitudes. You can say "I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?" pretty inoffensively, I think.


DavidS - Sep 28, 2010 8:54:42 pm PDT #26702 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

ION, JZ took Matilda with her to pick up her Dad at the airport tonight. First thing Matilda told her Papou?

"I'm going to a new school and my new teacher's name is Helen."

So far so good.


Liese S. - Sep 28, 2010 9:10:38 pm PDT #26703 of 30001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Good. Glad to hear it. I have high hopes for Matilda`s new school.
 
I am pretty sure I said, "I don`t know how you do it." to you & K, Kat. Oops. I say it to pretty much every parent, but yeah, I can see how there`s not really a good answer to that no matter how it`s intended. So, I apologize.
 
The SO & I saw a cutiepants Asian family in the Japanese garden at the Albuquerque botanical gardens this weekend and I was teasing him about deciding not to have kids. They had two little girls with adorable matching (not identical, mind you, complementary) hats. Of course if I actually had kids, we would never manage to get them out of the house to awesome outings like the botanical gardens, much less in complementary outfits.


javachik - Sep 28, 2010 9:20:01 pm PDT #26704 of 30001
Our wings are not tired.

I can tell you lots of parents just don't. I know, since I am the daughter of a runaway mother. My grandfather adopted me because she just couldn't get her shit together to parent a child (she had already given up a son for adoption 5 years before I was born). So, yeah, some people do put more effort into being a parent than others. It's effort, it's sacrifice, it's lots of things to be a good parent. And sometimes those of us who aren't parents (and those who are!) want you peeps with extra hard situations to know that we admire you and thank you. I hope that does not sound condescending or patronizing.

I had a really, really shitty "parent" so I am especially thrilled to see that others take parenting very seriously and do it well.


§ ita § - Sep 28, 2010 10:49:29 pm PDT #26705 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Not in my situation. And most likely not in msbelle's either. And not really in yours either.

What javachik said. By no means do all parents stick around. And some that do are horrible horrible selfish people. You're not. msbelle's not. I might be.

Oh, look, I'm awake.


Lee - Sep 29, 2010 12:09:06 am PDT #26706 of 30001
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.

Oh, look, I'm awake.

Me too, which is really incredibly stupid.


Calli - Sep 29, 2010 1:25:36 am PDT #26707 of 30001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

Me three, but then I'm supposed to be at this point.

So, yeah, some people do put more effort into being a parent than others. It's effort, it's sacrifice, it's lots of things to be a good parent. And sometimes those of us who aren't parents (and those who are!) want you peeps with extra hard situations to know that we admire you and thank you. I hope that does not sound condescending or patronizing.

Also, yeah, what javachik said.


flea - Sep 29, 2010 1:28:51 am PDT #26708 of 30001
information libertarian

Maybe instead if "I don't know how you do it" we could develop an alternative like, "I respect and honor your hard work in this difficult situation." And, you know, spread it to the masses.


Cashmere - Sep 29, 2010 3:47:33 am PDT #26709 of 30001
Now tagless for your comfort.

I think "I don't know how you do it" fit because it's honest. And really, until you actually do it, you don't know how you do it. Sometimes while you're doing it, you don't know how you do it.

I like "I respect the job you're doing as a parent," too.

I need to hit up some places for sponsorship for our roller derby fundraiser coming up this month. It's being held in a bar, so I can't go to other bars or restaurants. But I'm going to see the tattoo parlors, the record store and a few chiropractors in town. Can't think of any other ideas.


Kat - Sep 29, 2010 4:06:29 am PDT #26710 of 30001
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo

I think that you can, you should try to avoid platitudes. You can say "I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?" pretty inoffensively, I think.

I think this. Or even less, I'm sorry and more, you seem overwhelmed.

Moreover, I generally know based on the context whether or not the person saying "I couldn't do it!" intends to be sympathetic in a way that I can dig. So when you, liese, and your DH came to visit us, if you did say it, I kinda could figure out what you meant. And I remember saying, "You could do it. You really have little choice."

Cashmere, what about coffee shops? Too bar like? Do you have a skating (and I mean skate board rather than roller skate) kind of shop? Actual alcohol brands? Tecate sponsors the LA Derby Dolls (as does Stila cosmetics!)