The ethical part is, how soon should she tell him she won't be bearing the fruit of his mighty loins? It seems like a thing a guy ought to know about his possible SO, before he reaches the point of, like, making plans, but telling too soon is creepy. I don't know. Take into account I'm a little drunk right now and feeling insecure.
Spike: At least give me Wesley's office since he's gone. Angel: He's not gone. He's on a leave of absence. Spike: Yeah, right. Boo-hoo. Thought he killed his bloody father. Try staking your mother when she's coming on to you! Harmony: Well…that explains a lot.
'Destiny'
Natter 66: Get Your Kicks.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, pandas, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Zenkitty - Jul 22, 2010 6:11:04 pm PDT #14206 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Steph L. - Jul 22, 2010 6:11:51 pm PDT #14207 of 30001
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Who wants to weigh in on the pros and cons and possible ethical dilemmas regarding a 47-y-o woman dating a 35-y-o man? A childless man whose position on future children-having is unknown, I should add. Specifically, though not excluding other factors, at what point should she tell him her age?
What javachik said.
Shit, my mom and stepdad got together when she was 43 and he was 31. A 12-year gap is no big thing. Be like them!
§ ita § - Jul 22, 2010 6:13:24 pm PDT #14208 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
There is zero ethical dilemma involved in dating a man of legal age. Why should there be?
Dating and breeding are not equivalent. Even if one is of childbearing age, that doesn't mean they want to.
Typo Boy - Jul 22, 2010 6:14:16 pm PDT #14209 of 30001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
I'd say Hil's answer is good.
megan walker - Jul 22, 2010 6:14:35 pm PDT #14210 of 30001
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist
The ethical part is, how soon should she tell him she won't be bearing the fruit of his mighty loins? It seems like a thing a guy ought to know about his possible SO, before he reaches the point of, like, making plans, but telling too soon is creepy. I don't know. Take into account I'm a little drunk right now and feeling insecure.
I don't think it's fair to expect that discussion to happen until they are actually talking about having children together. What if she just didn't want to have them? Or was 30, but couldn't?
Typo Boy - Jul 22, 2010 6:15:25 pm PDT #14211 of 30001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
And as for ethical dilemmas, none. My Mom was 12 years older than my late Dad. Happily married for 40 years, and one of the things he said before he died was to apologize for leaving her a young widow.
Zenkitty - Jul 22, 2010 6:15:46 pm PDT #14212 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
So... just roll with it, is the gist of the advice here? I guess I can do that.
DavidS - Jul 22, 2010 6:20:07 pm PDT #14213 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
So... just roll with it, is the gist of the advice here? I guess I can do that.
Definitely roll with it. The relationship doesn't have to be defined by its endpoint. If the relationship gets serious enough to talk about long term commitments then you should talk about child bearing issues.
Also: Go you!
sarameg - Jul 22, 2010 6:45:17 pm PDT #14214 of 30001
I'm pretty upfront with my plan not to have kids. Indiscriminately so. Blatant, even. If someone has a problem with that, well, that's their problem, not mine.
For years, my good friend has teased me about having a kid. She really, really wants me to. I just shove her and laugh and tell her to keep dreaming. It would take an unlikely set of circumstances to change my mind. Could happen, but probably won't.
brenda m - Jul 22, 2010 6:51:24 pm PDT #14215 of 30001
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there
I had dinner with a friend tonight. She went home last weekend for her birthday (41) and they went over to see her grandmother. Who handed her a gift bag containing a creepy china baby doll, with the words "well, you don't have any real babies, so..." Hand to god.