Who wants to weigh in on the pros and cons and possible ethical dilemmas regarding a 47-y-o woman dating a 35-y-o man? A childless man whose position on future children-having is unknown, I should add. Specifically, though not excluding other factors, at what point should she tell him her age?

What javachik said.

Shit, my mom and stepdad got together when she was 43 and he was 31. A 12-year gap is no big thing. Be like them!

There is zero ethical dilemma involved in dating a man of legal age. Why should there be?

Dating and breeding are not equivalent. Even if one is of childbearing age, that doesn't mean they want to.

I'd say Hil's answer is good.

The ethical part is, how soon should she tell him she won't be bearing the fruit of his mighty loins? It seems like a thing a guy ought to know about his possible SO, before he reaches the point of, like, making plans, but telling too soon is creepy. I don't know. Take into account I'm a little drunk right now and feeling insecure.

I don't think it's fair to expect that discussion to happen until they are actually talking about having children together. What if she just didn't want to have them? Or was 30, but couldn't?

And as for ethical dilemmas, none. My Mom was 12 years older than my late Dad. Happily married for 40 years, and one of the things he said before he died was to apologize for leaving her a young widow.

So... just roll with it, is the gist of the advice here? I guess I can do that.

So... just roll with it, is the gist of the advice here? I guess I can do that.

Definitely roll with it. The relationship doesn't have to be defined by its endpoint. If the relationship gets serious enough to talk about long term commitments then you should talk about child bearing issues.

Also: Go you!

I'm pretty upfront with my plan not to have kids. Indiscriminately so. Blatant, even. If someone has a problem with that, well, that's their problem, not mine.

For years, my good friend has teased me about having a kid. She really, really wants me to. I just shove her and laugh and tell her to keep dreaming. It would take an unlikely set of circumstances to change my mind. Could happen, but probably won't.

I had dinner with a friend tonight. She went home last weekend for her birthday (41) and they went over to see her grandmother. Who handed her a gift bag containing a creepy china baby doll, with the words "well, you don't have any real babies, so..." Hand to god.

All those parenting sites make me think of Roseanne, and "if they're alive by five, I've done my job." Which probably makes it good I'm not likely to breed.