Ha, I have apparently discovered the secret to making myself the most desirable man on earth: reminding someone that they've flaked out on previous attempts to meet up and declaring that I'm not wasting any more of my time.

Ah, the "you can't have it, so now you want it" syndrome.

Summer memories:

Directing the thin wheel of the ten speed JUST right into the rut by the sidewalk that led down to the pool and zooming down it smoothly.

Laying on the hot, wet concrete, cheek on the damp towel, heat burning up through it, eyes closed, smelling Coppertone oil, listening to Eddy Grant's "Electric Avenue" on the radio for the 100th time that day.

Skinning up the rough bark of the tree on the hill on a hot, still day until I got to the taller branches, where I could -- carefully -- navigate from one skinny branch to the next tree.

Wrapped in my comforter with one side of cotton that felt like silk, the other side velveteen, in my damp swimsuit, in front of Duran Duran singing "Rio" on MTV, eating Prego pizza in the AC with my sister, on a quick lunch break from the pool.

Summer memories:

Exhaust pipe burns on the inside of one calf from riding on the back of my junior high crush's moped.

Epic kickball games with all the neighborhood kids. Running for the ice cream truck.

In high school, day trips to Point Pleasant Beach in one of the girls' rattling VW Bugs, turning over on our towels every half hour when the guy on the radio told us to.

When we lived in England, we used to take road trips in the summer across Britain. They're my only specific summer memories...in Jamaica I never really dwelt on the seasons.

I loved the excursions. We did Wales, the Lake District, Scotland, random cathedrals. Lots of car reading, and I do remember driving my parents batty when I decided to memorise and recite out loud all the hobbit poetry from Tolkien.

Thank dog for no carsickness on British roads (I still get queasy in Jamaica--the smell of sugar cane fields goes right to my nausea centres).

Ah, the pony trekking and the rowing on lakes and bed and breakfasts.

Ii Waves

I am in Portland killing time before my flight. I have reliable Internet access again, but I still skipped a bunch. Happy belated birthday Sarameg.

What else did I miss?

I feel it's necessary to mention that my junior high crush (who was actually also my elementary school crush) was named Dean. My first love! So appropriate.

We used to take car trips in the summer, too. A lot of summers it was NJ to WV for the family reunion, and those weekends were just wall to wall cousins we didn't know that well, and staying at my great-grandmother's tiny house, with the wood-burning stove still in the kitchen and the creek that ran alongside the house, and mounds of potato salad and coleslaw and homemade pie and Coke in bottles out on the back porch.

I remember walking down the tractor ruts on my grandparent's farm, looking for wild strawberries in the grass between the ruts. Riding on the trailer behind the tractor, kicking my legs in the tall grass, pushing and shoving at brothers and cousins until one of them fell off and then ran to catch up and jump back on. Climbing the pear trees, which was a huge no-no and could get you a licking and playing target practice with the dinner bell and a bb gun. Rowing the skiff out into the middle of the fish pond and swimming in the water from there, but never touching the bottom of the pond because of the leeches. Walking down country side roads looking for glass returnables for the pocket change when we went into town.

It kinda makes me want to cry to think about, because the farm doesn't exist anymore, sold off to developers after my grandparents died. But I had so much fun there every summer, it's nice to recall those idyllic times.

Summer memories:

Feeding the seagulls at Rocky Point while eating clam cakes and chowder.

Contests to see who had the most lemon pieces in their Del's frozen lemonade.

Visiting the Newport Mansions.

Going to Narragansett to visit friends and play on the beach.

Mini golf with my grandfather.

Time sort of mushes together for me. I spent a lot of summers in the wood behind our house, alone. I used to walk for miles along the railroad tracks that were back there, and I liked to follow the dear trails. There were also places where people had dumped garbage many years ago, and you could dig up bottles (sometimes whole, nice ones) and pieces of glass. There also had been a house back there that sort of got eaten into the woods, but you might find pieces of their old sink. I also liked to gather "herbs" and make a sort of tea (that I didn't drink. I would pretend I was a witch. I know one or more summers I wore my red calico dress and sunbonnet (just like Laura Ingall's) almost every day. That was probably the one piece of clothing I just completely wore out.

I also got to walk to the library (because it was on my street) by myself and check out books, which I would read either sitting in a tree, or at the kitchen table, eating apples and pretendng I was Jo March, sitting in her garrett, reading and eating apples.

My neighbor was a farmer and owned a farm stand, and I would wander around over there. I took some of her rejected vegetables for my "teas". I visited with Eric the goat, Sparky the dog, and the rabbits and guinea pigs. I did not like the chickens. I used to be sent for eggs, which we bought by the dozen by just going on her enclosed porch, opening up the fridge, and putting the money in an old berry container. My mom picked for her when she was layed off, and my grandma would too. I came along, because it was fun. My neighbor used to let me pick and keep all the strawberries I could pick in the fields that they deemed done producing. Ususally there were still lots of strawberries, they were just hard to find and required persistance.

I also picked tons and tons of black raspberries in the woods, and we would get bags and bags of vegetables that were too blemished to sell, which we would blanch, then ice, then freeze. Sometimes we bought things to do this with, too. We froze tomatoes, peppers, green, yellow, italian, and purple beans, yellow squash, zucchini, peaches, berries, corn, peas, beets and apples. My grandma and I also took some of the vegetables to different elderly women who lived on the street, and I loved visiting with them and seeing their houses and pretty old things.

This does also make me sad, because the farm is gone, and a lot of the woods, too. There is a house right behind my moms house, and several in the farm fields. (It was a weird farm, because it was in the middle of the village, not out in the country). The neighbors have passed away, and I also can't imagine being that happy again-- I enjoyed pretending and wandering about alone so much!

I'm loving all of the Summer memories.

Now I need to take a shower and wash my tears away. I really really really want to bow out of this party, but these are the same people that I had to cancel out on Christmas due to my horrible meds making me feel homicidal. I simply can't cancel again. Wish me luck. I am trying to look at it as an acting challenge.