well what happened tonight hasn't happened since August. We are trying to get him to be more aware of when he is getting out of control so we can get him medicine for rage episodes. As it is now we can only give it after the fact. The rage like tonight, to all of us, it comes on like a switch.

thank you everyone. being able to post here is a HUGE help.

Whatever you need, msbelle. It's here for you.

What sarameg said.

I wish there was more we could do, msbelle. Mac is blessed to have a woman with your strength as his mother.

Absolutely.

{{{{msbelle}}}}

Yup, that`s the great thing about `ffistas. We`re the support group that goes with you.
 
In trivial news, I`m watching tivo of the Blackhawks game, but it`s the Minnesota Wild station feed. So far there`s been an ad for how well Toyota AWD cars drive in snow, one for ice fishing clothing, and one where the hotel rate is the previous day`s temperature. I think it might be cold up there.

Random: I've been going through boxes of shelves, candleholders and such and been reluctant to hang them. They're nice, my style, etc. But I'm leaving them alone. Why?

And I thought a bit and it because they were in some sense a means of making temporary home. For 12 yrs. But the thing is, my home, my house? Isn't temporary any longer. Even with bare walls, it suits me perfectly. I look back at what I posted upon seeing it, emails, and oh lord, I was so gone. So I'm giving more thought. Sure, it's mine, I can change it. But this is a part of the new life that's been crafted in the past year and I'm disinclined to clutter it from old just because I have it available. I may even part with stuff that made my old home home. Because with this home, it is HOME, all caps, without most of the stuff. There's new to be done. I don't need to carve my mark into white walls. These walls are mine, and the years before.

It's odd.

Oh, dude I seriously relate. There`s barely anything on the walls because...okay I don`t know the because. Because I don`t have to. Because it`s already home, under the trappings of home. But I have a special shelf for my grandmother`s teapot. And it`s in daily use too because it can be. Love.