I had a roommate who was a surprise twin!

Or was her sister???

Betty White: "It's Been A Long Time Since I've Been Manhandled" (VIDEO)

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If you've been skeptical about whether or not she could actually hold her own [hosting SNL], then last night's appearance on Fallon is required viewing. If you're already pumped...well, it's also required viewing. She was bebopping and scatting throughout the interview, firing out one-liners at will. When asked if she'd appear in a sketch with musical guest Jay-Z, she promptly responded: "Jay-Z has 99 problems...but this bitch ain't one of them."

Perhaps the highlight came when Fallon warned her that during commercial breaks she'll be manhandled by wardrobe and make-up. White then dipped into the well, joking, "It's been a long time since I've been manhandled."

I have cousins who were surprise twins.

I know someone who had surprise triplets. She bit her husband's hand and drew blood in the delivery room when the doctor told them and he started to (nervous) laugh.

My ideal get-to-know-you conversation involves some mutual trash-talking about TV or movies or comics or something.

But that's mutual, and not disrespectful. I wouldn't need a guy to like Firefly or Supernatural, but he better not be pissy about me liking my shit.

Guy a cube over, speaking of dissing, is talking trash about rum. I almost interrupted, and then realised, oh, sense of proportion and relevance. He's calling it a girly drink. Because of how people mix it. Like I can reason with a guy who will talk so proudly about downing 45 beers in an evening. Obviously we approach drinking differently.

Above-Average Plastic Surgeon Takes Out Amazing Billboard (PHOTO)

Huh? Caption is funny....

Or was her sister???

You know, I think the sister was the second one! And what was supposed to be my roommate's middle name ended up her twin's first name. Apparently, after the first one came out, the mother was like, "I think there's another baby coming!" and the doctor said, yeah, no, that's the afterbirth -- and then took a closer look. Good times.

Apparently, after the first one came out, the mother was like, "I think there's another baby coming!" and the doctor said, yeah, no, that's the afterbirth -- and then took a closer look. Good times.

You know how when you take your clothes out of the dryer and you make one last check to make sure there isn't a sock or something still left in there? That's what doctors should do.

Many thanks, y'all. I've finished my coffee and still want vengeance. But I'll settle for getting stinkin' drunk tonight.

Corwood, that's just incredibly incredibly pissy, to put a petty word on something much bigger than that. I'm mad on your behalf.