Also, guys who are really obvious about "I'm trying to be your friend because I really want to date you" are just creepy.

I think they're mistaking it for the similar-yet-VERY-different phenomenon that occurs when 2 people who are friends happen to fall in love (or bed, or something). To the Nice Guys(TM), it seems the same -- guy and girl are friends, a love connection happens, yay sexytimes!

But the cruicial difference is that in the Nice Guy(TM) scenario, the guy is friends with the woman IN ORDER TO make the sexytimes occur, while in the other scenario, the guy is friends with the woman because he likes her as a person (otherwise known as ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP).

I don't think that Nice Guys(TM) even grasp the idea that a man and a woman could be actual friends without there being an ulterior motive, or at least an unstated fervent hope.

[Note: In these Nice Guys(TM) scenarios, I'm well aware that the genders can be reversed; god knows that I've been friends with guys for way too long, hoping that it would lead to something.]

But the cruicial difference is that in the Nice Guy(TM) scenario, the guy is friends with the woman IN ORDER TO make the sexytimes occur

That seems like a lot of work.

while in the other scenario, the guy is friends with the woman because he likes her as a person (otherwise known as ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP).

At least with this method you get, you know, actual friendship out of the deal.

OK, I am severely taxing the Buffista hivemind, I know.

But the dudes called Tom back (sort of unannounced, Tom was caught off guard a bit, but he muddled through the asking about benefits and stuff.) So the vacation + sick leave is two weeks, which... ugh.

So, since Tom still doesn't have the guys' contact info, he's going to send another email to the HR/Operations manager lady. They indicated that they reallllly want him and need him and are very excited about the possibility of him coming on board. So, I figure this is a good time to try to negotiate for more PTO, since the salary they offered was lower than his requirements. (They did say they'd kick in $2K for relocation expenses though!)

So, something like...

Hi, K. Thanks so much for passing along my questions to W and B, it was a productive conversation. In weighing the options, in light of the fact that my salary requirements were out of range, I hoped that we could negotiate regarding paid time off.

If you could pass this along to R and B and ask them to get in touch with me about this, I would appreciate it. Thanks so much!

You guys are doing the right thing; negotiate everything hard up front. Boyfriend did not negotiate hard enough (being out of work for awhile had his confidence way down) and while his salary is good, his time off is mediocre at best.

In fact, he was supposed to visit me this weekend for the first time since he moved. But he is not, because his mother is ill and he has only 2 earned vacation days. He needs to save them to see her. Which completely and wholly sucks.

I still want to know what Tom will be doing at this shiny new job!!

YAY Tom on the new job in NoLa. Very exciting.

I just ran in to catch up now I have to go again.

Congrats, Tom on the job!

in light of the fact that my salary requirements were out of range,

I would frame it that they are too low, not that he was too high.

He should totally negotiate for more time off. A lot more. Are the health care benefits okay?

Hec, look away. Kittehroulette: [link]

All the talk about burgers and condiments meant that I had supper at The Skillet in Zellers, which is the equivalent of a diner in Target. A burger with Ketchup, relish, a mininscule amount of mustard, lettuce and onion.

I had a burger for lunch too. They put mayo on it. I'm still at my half-portion appetite, so it was mostly wasted anyway.

Jan Vormann travels the world repairing crumbling monuments with Lego.

A German artist has spent the last three years travelling the world fixing crumbling walls and monuments using Lego. Jan Vormann, 26, has taken his project from its humble beginnings at an art fair in Rome and brightened up thousands of people's days with his brightly coloured plastic version of Polyfilla.