my rules for flying:

nothing in pockets, no belts, no clothing with metal, as much shoved into bags as possible prior to security (including coats, men's wallets, watch, magazines, purse, ipod, anything in mac's hands), quart bag of toiletries/jacket/laptop all out/off prior to getting to security table, slip on shoes or tie shoes loosely tied so as to make them slip on for security.

I used to have a backpack with a side pocket specifically designed for those items, so you could slam everything in there while you were walking up to the security line and grab it all out equally quickly on the other side.

This last time I was just really happy that the empty water bottle trick I'd just learned totally worked. So much easier and cheaper than buying water on the inside.

Yeah, but with all that hair down there it's not like anyone can tell...

My suspicion is that it's being marketed to the gals who like to shave their goodie bits.

Okay, I admit to finding the whole concept of genital grooming rituals fascinating. It's as if we as a culture are creating ways to be dressed when you're naked.

I'm trying to figure out how to bring my camera bag, my laptop, and an overnight bag without having to check anything.

the empty water bottle trick I'd just learned totally worked

You fill from the tap on the other side? I have a tapwater aversion, grown from nasty-tasting LA water.

I don't put anything in my pockets on me, just in jacket pockets or my purse. My shoes were a bit complex to get on and off, but I unbuckled them beforehand so I didn't hold up anyone in line. And no belt.

Hell, I don't think I even removed my liquids baggie from my carry on on the way on. It was mega-casual. Bad me.

I once inadvertantly smuggled 8 nail clippers to Chicago.

(There was a hole in the bottom of my pocketbook, and I was convinced that my roommate was "borrowing" them.)

I had a coworker that managed to get two laptops through with no power-on test, plus a boning knife. This was pre-9/11, but still scary.

For Teppy and other word people, from Lolcats

[link]

Is this when I mention my friend's 5 year old who had filled her pockets with clothes pins prior to getting on a flight without her mother's knowledge?

I have never flown with a laptop before - does it need to be on and in the bin or just in the bin?

Also, if I am checking luggage with my toiletries in it, do those need to be in a quart bag or no?

It's been about 4 years since I've flown (!!!!) What other wonkiness can I expect?