ION, why is it that every single time I fly, someone either tries to send their laptop through the scanner in a packed bag, or tries to take large amounts of liquid through? Can it be possible every single time that I encounter someone who's never flown before?

When you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come.

Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex's clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.

Source: Michael Jackson's Doctor To Be Indicted

Yeah, I could have gone my whole life without knowing about that.

Those are both recent enough requirements that I could see a traveler who hasn't flown frequently in the past decade or so not knowing. It wouldn't have to be never. The last time I flew I knew I needed my laptop out, but I didn't know it needed to be in its own bin, separate from my watch & belt & shoes & pocket change bin. That made three items I was ushering through the xray machine which I found irritating to wrangle.

Can it be possible every single time that I encounter someone who's never flown before?

That or someone who thinks that the rules just cannot possible apply to them. These people are also known as idiots.

That made three items I was ushering through the xray machine which I found irritating to wrangle.

Oh, it's a pain in the ass for sure. But -- there are signs! Does no one read the signs?

On my way back from NO I forgot to put all my non-medicine liquids in a baggie. I didn't get called on it, but if I had, I'd have been one of those people. Not that I didn't know--I'd just flown all correct-like two days beforehand. I was just more slapdash clearing up the hotel room than I was packing from home.

So not clicking on the va-jay-jay link.

my rules for flying:

nothing in pockets, no belts, no clothing with metal, as much shoved into bags as possible prior to security (including coats, men's wallets, watch, magazines, purse, ipod, anything in mac's hands), quart bag of toiletries/jacket/laptop all out/off prior to getting to security table, slip on shoes or tie shoes loosely tied so as to make them slip on for security.

I used to have a backpack with a side pocket specifically designed for those items, so you could slam everything in there while you were walking up to the security line and grab it all out equally quickly on the other side.

This last time I was just really happy that the empty water bottle trick I'd just learned totally worked. So much easier and cheaper than buying water on the inside.

Yeah, but with all that hair down there it's not like anyone can tell...

My suspicion is that it's being marketed to the gals who like to shave their goodie bits.

Okay, I admit to finding the whole concept of genital grooming rituals fascinating. It's as if we as a culture are creating ways to be dressed when you're naked.