I have an interview with a professor in a Theology department today. Acceptance~ma and possibility-of-funding~ma would be much appreciated!

Job~ma, Stephanie!

Ongong better-health~ma, askye. Yay for cleared infection.

Chatted with cute girl on OKC, there will likely be coffee.

Fantastic! (I met The Girl on OutEverywhere. Don't tell anyone.)

All the most interesting discussions here go on after I've gone to bed. Loved reading the discussion about women, standoffishness, etc. It's interesting to think that some of my 'must please others' ridiculousness might be, at least in part, about being a woman in a patriarchal society. In an odd way, it helps me see my issues there as something I can have more power over, as a feminist. Which is very cool indeed.

I know that I've got some mild Asperger's tendencies. One of them is that social small talk is really difficult for me. Saying things I don't really mean -- like "I'm fine" in response to "How are you?" when I'm really not fine, or "Nice to see you" to somebody I really didn't want to see -- does not come naturally. I know how to follow those sorts of rules for situations when I have to, but I am not going to waste time with lying to a friend.

Absolutely. My autistic spectrum stuff has lost me a lot of friends over the years, because I told them the truth when I wasn't supposed to, or because I couldn't read their body language, or because I repeatedly didn't understand social conventions and they got bored. I'm a lot more willing to accept those aspects of my character as 'just me' than I am others. Which is interesting, and I should think about why I'm so keen to make sure that the way I act makes other people happy.

Depends on the situation. In a social situation, first names are fine. Anything else, I use Mr./Ms.

I was calling The Girl's father 'Mr' until a couple of months ago. I've known him about three years. Tells you how terrified I am of him, if nothing else!

I particularly feel this with regard to first names. I hate it when people I don't know use my first name.

I would love to have the confidence to correct people with 'Ms J.' when they use my first name and it's not appropriate. I'd particularly like to be called 'Ms' at my many medical appointments. The social inequality of discussing my health with soemone who I have to call 'Dr' and gets to call me 'Naomi' is annoying as hell. Particularly as one of my areas of research is disability discrimination and the medical profession.

As for shortening names, almost everyone I know well (including my parents) calls me 'Nay'. The problem comes when people I don't know well start calling me that. At one job, all my colleagues started with it, including my boss. I winced every time I was called 'Nay' in a staff meeting. Fortunately, my students never picked it up from the other teachers!

[link]

"Dr Morrison added: 'Our research indicates that excessive internet use is associated with depression, but what we don't know is which comes first - are depressed people drawn to the internet or does the internet cause depression?'"

I have no words. Except maybe *headdesk* ad infinitum.

I suspect it's a Virginia thang, but i "sir" and "ma'am" just about anyone (and everyone) as a deferential or default if i don't know their name. There's at least one person at work who wants to punch me because i responded "yes ma'am" to some instruction she gave me before finding out it was a pet peeve. Shortly after moving north of Richmond i dropped the "miss" and "mister" for people my age or younger as i started getting feedback that it might be perceived as "plantation" *sigh* .

IOmeN, i started off my day with a visit to the chiro, complete with ultrasound and massage to break up scar tissue in the mending foot. Then i swam and did some water aerobics. All that ws fine. The i cooked a tasty chickpea curry and all the standing caused true pain. Thankfully a good icing has quieted it down, but seriously this was the first incident of foot pain since week two of the break. Do not like. Standing shouldn't lead to pain. especially when i made cupcakes yesterday that still need frosting. Which means standing at least enough to combine ingredients. thankfully i have three hours of videtaped LOST to keep me sitting on the couch for most of the evening.

I don't know, it seriously weirds me out when people I don't know use my name.

I realize that I'm in a completely different sort of space than most of you, but that sort of thing doesn't bug me. I suppose that's good, now that random strangers who've seen me on the Internet will come up to me and go "Jilli!"

I default to "Miss" "M'am", and "Sir" for people I don't know. I also have gotten really good at saying "I'm sorry, I'm very bad with names and faces. Please remind me of your name?"

I work in a first name industry and I have a pretty simple monosyllabic first name, so it usually get pronounced correctly. I am, however, surprised at how often I am asked to spell my first name. I mean really? It's the past tense of draw, how hard can that be?

I'm pretty forgiving on my last name as well since it's pretty uncommon and gets butchered fairly often, they is also the fact that it's gaelic in origin so the accepted pronunciation of it in english is no where near what it really should be. The only reason there is a "z" sound in the english name is because there is a symbol in gaelic that looks kinda like a "z" if you squint at it, and so when it got shifted to english a "z" got shoved in the middle.

All kinds of fun.

how should your last name be pronounced?

It's a little hard to type out the actually pronunciation since it uses a sound that doesn't have a direct equivalent in English, but it close to a "Y" sound. Here's a bit of an explanation:

The unintuitive spelling of the name is due to it being an anglicisation of Gaelic Dail-gheal, meaning white dale. The sound now spelled with a "y" or "z" is historically a lenited slender /g/, which in Gaelic is pronounced [j] (like English "y"). The English form of the name was originally spelled with a "ȝ" (yogh); this was later replaced with either a "z", the letter of the modern alphabet which most looks like yogh, or a "y", which more closely represents the sound.

So the correct pronunciation doesn't really have the first "l" sound in it, and where the "z" is you make something like a "y" sound only a bit farther back in your throat. Also the first "a" sound in the name isn't the flat sounding "a" that is expected, but a bit more like an elongated "ai" diphthong.

First thing's first: Good luck, Seska! Yay, askye! And job~ma, Stephanie!

My day, so far: managed to get insulted by BigMouth on the bus which I saw for the third time, and only when I got off it (after one stop, for I'm not gonna share a bus, if I have a choice, with a pottymouth who tries to curse everyone at sight and calls me a bitch when I'm just entering the bus) I realized that it might be a case of tourette. Until I'll be proved wrong, I'll greet her good morning next time. Also, 20 minutes of tech support with my dad, on "how to attach a scan that I don't know where I saved to an email". This day's gotta improve.

Oh, and you remember that I got hurt few days ago, that I wasn't asked to be a mod of an official board? I got up today, and understood that it's not a case of "I'm not good enough". It's a case of "Not the girl to do it", which I can understand. And this little realization made me feel a hell lot better. Someone would have called me out if I'd be doing wrong, and if I am and they're not saying anything, then my, it's really their problem.

And now, mearing:

I have the opposite problem. People seem to always think I am approachable even when I am trying to give off the "get away from me or I will hit you with this crutch" vibe.

This is me, too.

Oh! oh! I know this one! I have trouble with this all the time. You're supposed to say, "No! It was absolutely my pleasure! You are so welcome!" or something like that.

Shit that I never understood.

social small talk is really difficult for me

Shit that got better after being assigned as an IDF Magazine reporter. I had to develop small talk skills in order to survive.

I didn't really have the normal socialization when I was growing up and so I just didn't learn certain things.

More like "chose to" not to have "normal socialization", after getting very harsh attitude from my classmates in school, in my case. Books and TV were, by far, better company. They didn't make me feel bad about myself.

direct

That's the term, motherfuckers.

My name is something that's extended

While I don't have much problem with English speakers to get "huh?" at my name, Israelis (mostly - well, all - girls) who are trying to be "cute" and call my Shiri as a nickname gets to meet my alterragingego. Shiri is an entirely different name. My nickname is Shir-Shir, motherfucker, and my mom is the only one in the world that's entitled to call me "my-Shir-my-dear" (Shir shely motek, in Hebrew).

I've been ma'amed since I was in my 20s

I've been ma'amed the first time when I was 13, by my American English teacher. I remember this to this day. I finished written down an answer on the board, and the response I got was "thank you, ma'am". Being called like that, or having other open not-extremely-heavy-doors for me when I'm around, it's just weird.

if you've been introduced, how are they supposed to know when it's okay to use the name they've been told?

I avoid it until someone else, around my level is using the name, and take a lead.

I've been called "Sir" more in the past year, than the rest of my life combined. They are very polite down here.

This kind of statement makes me automatically suspicious: how polite are them, and how much are they just trying to hide.

Fortunately, my students never picked it up from the other teachers!

I never, never understood students who are calling their professors/doctors by their first name. If they don't have the diploma, it's another matter that I can understand, but this? I avoid calling my lecturers with an M.A. by their first name as long as they're teaching me.

diphthong

I love that word. That is all.

It took me a lot of political phone banks and several Derek Strange novels to get that black people, ime, prefer Mr. or Mrs from strangers.I felt stupid about not getting it, also about people over 65, but I never thought of it because I don't generally care about that myself...not being "honey" is a good start for me. But, as I wish some NYT columnists would learn, everyone is not you. I am much better at getting people to talk than I used to be.

not being "honey" is a good start for me

Don't. Get. Me. Started.

I wish some NYT columnists would learn, everyone is not you

A lesson I want that Israeli media will learn, as well.

Writing papers in English takes. so. much. freaking. time. Thank God that thanks to you guys, I'm typing fast. But 1500 words never seemed more far away than now...

So the correct pronunciation doesn't really have the first "l" sound in it, and where the "z" is you make something like a "y" sound only a bit farther back in your throat. Also the first "a" sound in the name isn't the flat sounding "a" that is expected, but a bit more like an elongated "ai" diphthong.

I had no idea I'd been pronouncing your name wrong all this time! (OTOH, I'm also not sure I've ever actually said your last name out loud. Huh.)