My grandmother used to get so mad at me when I was a kid because I refused to call anyone "ma'am" or "sir". Mostly because I wouldn't call HER "ma'am". I wasn't disrespectful; I was very polite. I just didn't want to.

I was very polite. I just didn't want to.

Uhmm...I'm seeing a discordance between these two statements.

My grandmothers were both called Miss until the days they died. Good enough for me.

Quasi-exhaustive meara:

(((Aims))) I'm catching up, so I hope you're doing better by now.

If I don't like you, I don't mind being intimidating. Scaring people I don't like is fun.

And you do it with such elegant grace. Priviledge to witness, as long as it's focused over *there*. At *them*.

I had counterparts in other offices refusing to partner me in classes, no reason given, except they'd all "already found a partner." Finally, the IT guy told me, "Well, you can be intimidating." Coming from someone who never exhibited an emotion of any sort in public, and who had everybody terrified of him, but who got the hysterical giggles when he and I worked together, I figured I was on the side of good.

I work really hard (for example, at Buffista gatherings) at presenting as approachable, but lord, it takes a mort of energy. And then I have to go somewhere and hide my head for a few hours and recharge.

I like the sound of "welcome" more than I like the sound of "problem".

Nothing stodgy about it--it is an actual perception, and welcome is far better received than problem.

I hate it when people I don't know use my first name.

Particularly when it's a 20 year old gum chewer at the doctor's office. Or the doctor. You call me by my first name, bub, I'm calling you by yours. And yes, I know the last name is problematic. Oh, gone are the days I leapt to the rescue of anyone attempting to muddle through the apparently random assemblage of consonants and vowels. Now I just say, "Make a note on my chart--I prefer not to be called by my first name," and then watch them struggle through the phonetics.

And a bit tangential, but I dislike it when doing business on the phone, I'm asked for my last name and I spell it. "And how do you pronounce that?" Like you're ever going to have occasion to say it aloud? And if I'd answered your question with my name, the first words out of your mouth would have been a semi-awed, "How--um, do you spell that?" I'm attempting to save your time and mine, here.

Askye, I'm glad the infection is gone. I hope the new stuff is something easily and quickly fixable.

I have a last name that most people are unwilling tackle.

::waves hands in the air:: I know! I know how to say it!

I still "ma'am" and "sir" reflexively.

Riley comes to mind, and I always did have a soft spot for that boy. My mama never made me ma'am or sir anybody, but I did have an inbred knowledge of when it would be to my advantage to use it. And I had the usage of please and thank you beaten into me by sheer reminding and repetition. I will say, my younger hooligan got off punishment for a lot of the stuff he got into with a smile and please and thank you. I have used madam and sir for kids of all ages, as well as "little man" when appropriate.

"And how do you pronounce that?" Like you're ever going to have occasion to say it aloud?

Sometimes I reply to that: There aren't many of us. It's not a useful skill.

Omnis, I'm at Renaissance tower. That's the one with the X lights on it and th funny little towers on top. It isn't super close, but halfway somewhere around St. Paul wouldn't be difficult at all on the train.

Yeah, mostly when I say sir or ma`am it`s to kids.

DJ, is that what that building is called? When you say train, do you mean DART? or something else. Oh, and I wanna know about the tunnels. So many things to learn about this city. Stupid work eating too much of my time. Grrr.

That's the train I mean. The stop isn't far from my office and St. Paul isn't far from yours. There are some good places down in the tunnels. They aren't easy to navigate though. Let me know when you have time!

I have an interview with a professor in a Theology department today. Acceptance~ma and possibility-of-funding~ma would be much appreciated!

Job~ma, Stephanie!

Ongong better-health~ma, askye. Yay for cleared infection.

Chatted with cute girl on OKC, there will likely be coffee.

Fantastic! (I met The Girl on OutEverywhere. Don't tell anyone.)

All the most interesting discussions here go on after I've gone to bed. Loved reading the discussion about women, standoffishness, etc. It's interesting to think that some of my 'must please others' ridiculousness might be, at least in part, about being a woman in a patriarchal society. In an odd way, it helps me see my issues there as something I can have more power over, as a feminist. Which is very cool indeed.

I know that I've got some mild Asperger's tendencies. One of them is that social small talk is really difficult for me. Saying things I don't really mean -- like "I'm fine" in response to "How are you?" when I'm really not fine, or "Nice to see you" to somebody I really didn't want to see -- does not come naturally. I know how to follow those sorts of rules for situations when I have to, but I am not going to waste time with lying to a friend.

Absolutely. My autistic spectrum stuff has lost me a lot of friends over the years, because I told them the truth when I wasn't supposed to, or because I couldn't read their body language, or because I repeatedly didn't understand social conventions and they got bored. I'm a lot more willing to accept those aspects of my character as 'just me' than I am others. Which is interesting, and I should think about why I'm so keen to make sure that the way I act makes other people happy.

Depends on the situation. In a social situation, first names are fine. Anything else, I use Mr./Ms.

I was calling The Girl's father 'Mr' until a couple of months ago. I've known him about three years. Tells you how terrified I am of him, if nothing else!

I particularly feel this with regard to first names. I hate it when people I don't know use my first name.

I would love to have the confidence to correct people with 'Ms J.' when they use my first name and it's not appropriate. I'd particularly like to be called 'Ms' at my many medical appointments. The social inequality of discussing my health with soemone who I have to call 'Dr' and gets to call me 'Naomi' is annoying as hell. Particularly as one of my areas of research is disability discrimination and the medical profession.

As for shortening names, almost everyone I know well (including my parents) calls me 'Nay'. The problem comes when people I don't know well start calling me that. At one job, all my colleagues started with it, including my boss. I winced every time I was called 'Nay' in a staff meeting. Fortunately, my students never picked it up from the other teachers!

[link]

"Dr Morrison added: 'Our research indicates that excessive internet use is associated with depression, but what we don't know is which comes first - are depressed people drawn to the internet or does the internet cause depression?'"

I have no words. Except maybe *headdesk* ad infinitum.