I'm really bad at the small talk and saying things like good morning and I realize I tend to get rude and want to walk around people who are being slow.

Mom suggested she thinks I might have asperger's tendencies but I think it's more likely to be that I didn't really have the normal socialization when I was growing up and so I just didn't learn certain things.

When I was in seventh grade, I got a C in band one semester. I knew I deserved at least a B, and my mom called the teacher to ask why I got a C. He said that the reason was that, every day, when he said, "Good morning, Hillary," I responded with, "Hi." If I had responded with, "Good morning, Mr. S," then I would have gotten the B.

Or perhaps you're just busy and saying "Good morning!" to everyone who crosses your path is annoying, and saying it to some and not to others seems rude.

My rule is, passing someone in the hallway that I work with or know who makes eye contact, gets a good morning. Otherwise, if you visit my cube you'll get one.

I work in a giant tower downtown. If I don't walk quickly past herds of office workers meandering, I'll never get lunch.

Why did I just lie to the little girls from next door? This is the first time they've been over and they're curious about the house as any kid would be and they're asking all sorts of questions about "What's in that room?" "Is Emeline scared to sleep in her own room?" "Do you close your curtains at night?" Kid stuff. They are between the ages of like 7 - 9.

So one of them asked me of we have a tv upstairs in our room. And I LIED. I said "No." I don't know why. Why the hell would I lie about a stupid tv??

Huh.

I'm always surprised when I realizes some like me for me. Not because i am unlikable, but because I barely opened my mouth for the first 18 years of my life. And even though there are a bunch of people that find me aggressive now ( not in a negative way , but baby doesn't sit in the corner much any more ) I still am surpirsed that people notice me.

And I have to say , most of the time in the work world, I don't really care if people like me. I also work with the public. So I have a professional skin that is a bit different than when I did the office thing.

We have one female developer on our team. I've been told not to make her angry, that she made the last person in my position cry, that she is rude, etc.

You know what? We get on just fine. She's direct, and I respond directly. She tells me what's wrong with a thing, and I get on and fix it. We joke around all the time. She's not rude, she's just not being a 'girl.'

I have a weird phobia about calling people by their names. Most of it is because I don't *remember* their name, but it seems so presumptuous somehow to say "Hi, Mike" or whatever.

There are people I've worked with for years and with whom I've had conversations whose names I don't know. I have a pool of about six names to work with, but I don't know who is who. People who use names all the time in conversations make me twitchy. And it also makes me twitchy that so many people who I don't know know who I am.

Sometimes I just twitch a lot.

*twitch*

I gotta come down on the side of saying I'm fine or saying hello if someone meets my eye. I think of those kind of greetings as a dog wagging its tail--not really giving information other than "I see you. You see me. No harm is meant." Dogs need it and I think people do too. Giving a greeting and not getting one back can feel like a rejection, because I think that doggie part of our brain still expects it.

It's a habit you have to get into and it feels odd at first, but once you get used to it, it makes moving through the world a little easier. I don't getting all up in someone's bidness or letting them get in yours--which is rude--I just mean the tiniest recognition, like a nod or some lame comment about the weather. I also try to always mention when I see something cool or pretty on a stranger--like telling someone on an elevator that they have awesome shoes. I like it when I get a sincere, unsolicited compliment, so I figure they will too.

I called into a meeting today that I've never taken part in before. The woman leading the meeting has never met me. She called me "Eva." I didn't correct her--I couldn't be arsed. A bunch of people chimed in and corrected her. I don't even know who they all are.

Go team name power!

I'm very particular about using names, but I'm very particular about establishing relationships with co-workers. I consider it very important for maximum productivity.

People to whom I've not been introduced need not to use my name. This is especially important for supermarket clerks reading it off my credit card. I hates that, I does. My name is something that's extended, not something that's taken.

Plus you're going to mispronounce my first name, or call me Mrs or something. I know you will.

People to whom I've not been introduced need not to use my name. This is especially important for supermarket clerks reading it off my credit card. I hates that, I does. My name is something that's extended, not something that's taken.

THIS THIS THIS THIS.

(and also, did I ever mention how fantastic it was to finally meet you, Kat, and Burrell?)