Happy Birthday, MM!

Be strong, P-C. You're doing what's right for you and your life. Also, Teppy is wise, and more articulate than I.

Envious of the Vortex and smonster-having, if not for the reason. I hug you both by proxy.

Also good tips. Easier said than done, but yeah.

Ignoring the guilt trips is the only effective way to deal with them, because there is NO conversation you can have with her about them that will end up in your favor. That's how guilt trips work.

A modicum is all I have left!

Well, you'd best hang on to it then! Maybe get one of those bags that you suck the air out of with a vacuum cleaner to store sweaters and such, and put the modicum in there. That'll keep it well preserved.

Teppy is wise, and more articulate than I.

I earned that wisdom the hard way, and I have the scars to prove it.

Well, and your future wife will prefer you slightly sane.

and I might take the next few days to practice your response. Because if you are like me , even when no one is there you will want to think of brilliant arguments that will convince them that you are correct ( and in practice , you will be brilliant)

I hug you both by proxy.

I snuggle our ample busoms together by proxy. Wish you were here.

P-C, hang in there. I've been through those kinds of guilt trips with my family over the years, right up to the guilt trip mom tried to play on me with Kristin and I going to Hawaii by ourselves to get married. You just can't play into it. Good on you for taking a stand.

It's easier with all of your support. Thank you guys.

Steph, I love you. I would so marry you right now!

smonster and Vortex in the same room.... Sounds like a lovely time will be had by all. Well, except the breaking up bit. But what better company to do it in?

P-C, Teppy's strategy on dealing with guilt trips is not only practical in that it obviously works for her, but it is sound in behavior modification theory as well - of the kind I have to use every day at work. Removing any form of reinforcement (i.e. do not respond in any way, as even negative responses provide reinforcement) for inappropriate behavior will tend to extinguish the behavior. But the kicker is, that it often takes many trials of this method before the behavior is extinguished because the individual can remember that the behavior got the reward in the past. You have to stick to it, no matter how long it takes. If you hold out for a while, and then give in, you teach the individual that it is worth keeping up the behavior because eventually they get the reward. And then the next time you try ignoring it, it will take all that much longer to extinguish the behavior. Also, responding to neutral and positive behaviors will reinforce those behaviors and will tend to increase the incidence of them.

Right, IOW, Listen to Teppy; Teppy is wise.

Happy Birthday, MM!!

ION, I am ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED!!!

OMGWTFBBQ!