"Wait, what? Tunnel....don't get excited, I haven't picked one...outside." (click) maybe I'm evil, but after my dad bugged my mom about trading in her car all last Spring Break, my tolerance for phone harrassment goes down to -11. The one time he cared, right? Although it's not fun to hang up without the clatter...do you think there could be a file for that? Probably a million-dollar idea I had. Work on it and we'll buy Buffista Island.

I think not picking up the phone today is a very wise response.

I can't tell whether it's a wise response or just making things worse. But she called two or three times yesterday too. I haven't talked to her since I hung up on her in Trader Joe's Tuesday night because I didn't want to talk about my feelings about a potential future wife while buying my groceries. It felt good to hang up on her for a change.

I've just had it. I am so very close to telling her that I'm through with this whole marriage thing entirely, and I don't want to hear about it ever again. I am so very close to telling her that if she doesn't shut up, I will start drinking and doing drugs and cutting myself and anything else I can do to destroy my life so she can't do it for me.

Hanging up should go "Bang!" not "Boop."

(there's an app for that)

There already is? I knew that was a good idea! Ah, well, not first again. But at least people agree with me on it...that's something.

I'm through with this whole marriage thing entirely

Hey, isn't there are monkish tradition in Indian culture? Tell her you're starting to think saffron robes are pretty spiffy.

No, that's Buddhist, I think. Darn my lack of keeping up with religions.

I've just had it. I am so very close to telling her that I'm through with this whole marriage thing entirely, and I don't want to hear about it ever again.

I suggest this. Possily in an email telling her that mentioning trigger words such as "wife" or "marriage" in any phone call to you will result in an immediate hangup. Such emails will be deleted and not answered.

I am so very close to telling her that if she doesn't shut up, I will start drinking and doing drugs and cutting myself and anything else I can do to destroy my life so she can't do it for me.

Not recommended. But an understandable impulse given your level of frustration.

Of course, this is a total "do as I say, not as I do" moment, coming from me. I'm leaving the state to break up with someone via email.

Hey, isn't there are monkish tradition in Indian culture? Tell her you're starting to think saffron robes are pretty spiffy.

No, that's Buddhist, I think. Darn my lack of keeping up with religions.

Siddhartha Gautama was from India. I don't know what colour his clothes were.

erika, I was joking ... although there might well be such an app. There IS one that makes a farting noise - good enough?

P-C, you have other options. You could always inform your mother that you're seeing somebody who turns out to be Completely Inappropriate. Potential double benefits -- get her off your back about marrying right away, and if/when you find somebody who's right for you, you can always point out that she's better than Completely Inappropriate Person.