But if you use a term as a descriptor and someone says to you that they're offended by it, what would your reaction be? To explain to them why you think that using that term is important to the long-term health and vitality of language? Or would you say that your intent wasn't to offend and offer an apology?

I can still recall being in this very situation back in college. I described a high school friend of mine as gay because he was. Someone took offense at my use of the term, esp since I wasn't gay. Neither was she, btw. (This happened probably just around the time that "gay" was entering into the mainstream.) I will admit my first reaction was annoyance with her, and arguing to defend myself. It took a few minutes for me to realize there is no way to defend myself in that situation. It's not like I can convince someone she shouldn't take offense. So I apologized. But obviously I haven't let it go.

I'm sorry, but you, as a non-mentally-ill person, don't get to make that call.

You're crazy!

True dat.

God, ten years ago, I'd have come down on a very different side in this language conversation. Now, I need the Emanuel brothers to make me feel demure. Or Al Swergin. So, have I lightened up, or become corrupted? Yes. no. Maybe.

I like the insult "draggletail" but try to use that one these days...

if you'd like some more links on it, Teppy, I can provide.

I would like, too, please. I never heard of this "social model" of which you speak, before. The idea of letting my environment conform to my needs instead of me trying to "fix" myself was quite liberating when it finally occurred to me. Like, my sister thinks AutoPay is a terrible idea, but it's a helluva lot better idea than screwing my credit and getting services turned off because in a bout of depression I forgot to pay the bills for a couple months. Getting to telecommute and work permanently from home was almost a lifesaver; being someplace at a certain time, almost every day, dressed, showered, and functional, is virtually impossible for me, and my boss's understanding was wearing thin. I can get "better" - this is me, better, thank you, Welbutrin - but I'm never going to be not-depressed.

Speaking of which, Teppy, do you know anything about Deplin? My shrink added it to my arsenal last month, and I think it's actually helping.

Thought experiment:

Toni Morrison is at a cocktail party at Princeton with her colleagues, English professors and other visiting novelists. She uses the word "niggardly" in conversation. Is this okay because:

A) She's Toni Fucking Morrison, bitch!
B) She's Nobel prize winning Toni Morrison.
C) She's a novelist.
D) She's black.
E) She's a novelist and black and it is presumed she both knows how to use the word and that she's sensitive to how it might be misconstrued.
F) It's okay because she knows the people she's talking to will not misconstrue it or be offended.

I think it's mostly F. Though A can't be discounted.

I was not aware that the word jipped/gypped was not spelled "jipped" until relatively recently. I was never corrected for spelling it jipped in writing. I don't think most people of my acquaintance--excepting the obvious examples here--have any clue that it's a reference to gypsies and if forced to spell it would use jip.

If you have to explain why it's offensive, I think it loses some of the offense. "Jewed", however, you'd have to claim profound, willing ignorance to not see the offense.

All of the above... actually, I think she has written it before. Not that I know everything she writes, but I've read a few.

Sidebar, but man do I hate the term 'political correctness.'

I have studiously avoided that phrase while slipping in slippery allusions to the "language of the left."

Sidebar, but man do I hate the term 'political correctness.' It's almost always used as a blanket condemnation that does not acknowledge the tension to which you are referring and the complicated algorithm I mentioned earlier.

Smonster is me in this case. I hate that people have found a condescension short-cut towards my aspirations to be a more decent human being.

I see absolutely no way that "Gyped", once someone knows the origin, is acceptable to use. I have left a table in a restaurant when someone used the "N" word. When I hear "Gyped", I'll usually smile broadly and ask if the person knows the origin. Usually, they're surprised and horrified, and vow to not use it again. I'd leave the company of that person in a minute if they proclaimed to know the origin and still used it. It's gross. And I am in no way a prude. I also recoil and say something if I hear "jewed".

I heard my boyfriend say "Dallas Cowgirls" once, had a talk with him, and he stopped using it.

I am really sensitive to this (using feminine characteristics as derogatory) right now even moreso than usual because of the recent gang-rape of a 15 year old in Richmond, CA. The brutality was bad enough, but the thing that really stung and has stayed with me, was a witness statement that started off with "that bitch, dude was taking her down, and she kicked him in the [nuts] and then it was game on". I have nightmares about it, and it's making me rethink entirely how nonchalant I've been about women's issues and the sad reality that to many people all over the world, we are one step above cattle. I'd like to say I've rediscovered my anger about this, but that would be a lie. I've never been angry enough.

using inverted commas to show that I don't like the term, either.

I didn't think you did, I just needed to vent.

my sister thinks AutoPay is a terrible idea, but it's a helluva lot better idea than screwing my credit and getting services turned off because in a bout of depression I forgot to pay the bills for a couple months.

I'm still coming around to this, instead of doing the way I *should* do it.

being someplace at a certain time, almost every day, dressed, showered, and functional, is virtually impossible for me, and my boss's understanding was wearing thin.

This is the situation I'm in.

So misers are greedy and niggardly people are stingy?

Novelists don't get a special bye.

I don't think writers do, either. And I do think there is a difference in creating a fictional racist/xenophobic character and, you know, not.

What it boils down to is everyone is perfectly free to choose any word, and everyone else is perfectly free to judge them accordingly.

Also, I'm instructed to inform you all that a seven-foot tall can agrees with me.

And now I'm going home, and may not be on as much, so please don't think I'm flouncing.