I meant to come here and bitch about my dad. P-C's family stories shamed my intention.

However, I might be a little bit envy in people who are actually arguing. With me and my dad (because we're too similar in how we think and do things but not in the content of those things) it's few sentences, then one of us storms off, then the other one, after chilling down, starting to get all nice to the other one without actually discussing where that niceness came from and the reason of the argument.

He's now being nice to me. Over a thing which we pretty much fighting for the past few months. Because we'll never, ever, have more than a 15 minutes of shouting at each other or actually discuss.

Once more with "getting a job and getting the hell out of here" vibe. Because I'm not gonna change him. And I don't think we'll ever agree on this.

Seems like I did bitch, in the end. Huh. And P-C? You have one amazing brother. Give him a hug for me.

No, no, you want to keep the work excuse. Plausible deniability is your friend. Just stick to that because that's a door that doesn't have to open. "I'm sorry my work schedule doesn't allow me to travel then." That's all you need to say. Repeatedly. Or just refer back to it, "As I just explained to you, my work schedule does not allow me to travel then."

I mean, what the fuck, I'm not going to actually ask my boss since I don't intend to go, and I don't want to have any actual truth to be lying about, but, seriously, we are trying to get a drug approved here. It is not out of the realm of possibility that they would want all hands on deck in December so we can finish everything by the end of the year.

Broken record seems to have been effective in the past, so I guess I will just stick with it, then.

THAT MAKES ME TWITCHY AND I AM CHANGING MY PIN ASAP.

Oh hell yeah.

I didn't even understand how she did it, and I also didn't believe I had so many until I realized that, actually, yeah, I probably did have a shitload after the Delta/Northwest merger. When I went to check, I saw that all you needed to log in was my FF number and my PIN; I didn't have a personal password. And, well, my PIN was my birthday, and she must have known that since we set this up when I was a kid. I've changed it now; I didn't think until just now that she had the ability to go and snoop on where I've been flying if she wanted to.

Dude, he needs to get the locks changed, and I am not even kidding. If they pay for the apartment, I can easily imagine them talking the landlord into giving them a spare key.

Oh, fuck yeah. Remember the time my mom tried to break my lease on my behalf? And that was when she wasn't paying for it. And as far as "paying for it," they aren't directly paying for it. My brother pays the rent from an account that my dad drops money into. So as far as the landlord is concerned, my brother is the only person involved.

Well done, brother of P-C!

There's a reason he's my role model. He's like a better version of me.

P.-C., you're planning to someday make a screenplay of your life, right?

let him get a happy ending (a wonderful geeky significant other). THEN make the movie.

No, no, you want to keep the work excuse. Plausible deniability is your friend. Just stick to that because that's a door that doesn't have to open. "I'm sorry my work schedule doesn't allow me to travel then." That's all you need to say. Repeatedly. Or just refer back to it, "As I just explained to you, my work schedule does not allow me to travel then."

What Hec said. Unless you want a blow-up that it sounds like you really don't want. (Of course, if you don't have enough vacation time to take a trip to India, the work excuse is even valid....)

My mom had logged into my Delta account and seen how many frequent flier miles I had, saying it was almost enough for a free ticket to India. A) No, not even close. B) THAT MAKES ME TWITCHY AND I AM CHANGING MY PIN ASAP.

Egad. If you want a PIN that nobody in your family will ever guess, I can offer birthdates of people in my family.

My brother said he couldn't do that. My mom said they were paying for the apartment. He said he couldn't give her a key; he knew how she was.

Dumb question -- would it make sense for brother and girlfriend to move in together and pay for their own apartment, now that your parents know?

"So you're upset that I'm not racist?"

"Yes, I'm upset that you're not racist."

"So you're upset that I'm happy?"

"Yes, I'm upset that you're happy. We told you she has to be Indian."

For what it's worth, I can't remember the last time I watched a sitcom with such good lines.

Thanks Tommyrot! This is what I posted:

Bin Laden wants there to be a religious war between Islam and the West. You're playing right into his hands! There is nothing more violent than someone defending their existence.

If you are against the "Mosque" at "Ground Zero" (quotes because it's neither a Mosque OR at ground zero), remember, we are a country of religious freedoms. ...Don't be a hypocrite.

Bollywood, definitely - there's so much song-and-dance in this story ....

(Of course, if you don't have enough vacation time to take a trip to India, the work excuse is even valid....)

Oh, I have more than enough. But I'd rather spend it on visiting my brother and playing videogames, which is our tentative plan for Christmas now.

Egad. If you want a PIN that nobody in your family will ever guess, I can offer birthdates of people in my family.

I've started using a different PIN that does come from the family, but I honestly don't think my mom was trying to "guess" my PIN or whatever. She just knew what it was because I hadn't changed it since we set up the account.

Dumb question -- would it make sense for brother and girlfriend to move in together and pay for their own apartment, now that your parents know?

That would probably make things worse, as he's already had to convince them that she's not actually living with him but has stuff over there for convenience.

For what it's worth, I can't remember the last time I watched a sitcom with such good lines.

Now I'm imagining the studio audience laughing after everything my parents say, and it makes me feel better. Kind of. Also sad.

P.-C., you're planning to someday make a screenplay of your life, right?

A Korean playwright friend of mine did just say he wanted to talk to me about doing a two-man show about our Asian experience.

I'm with Fred on the sitcom thing. That dialogue is priceless. And painful.

I'm not going to actually ask my boss since I don't intend to go, and I don't want to have any actual truth to be lying about

But see, P-C? Your ARE telling the truth.

Here is the thing about the truth. Somehow, we need it to hurt to actually be valid. BUT, your normal work schedule is just as valid a reason as some major project. I mean, you don't have to go into detail...and you shouldn't...but if you like the flow of your routine to not get backed up or stressed out because you've taken time off that will not relax you then the TRUTH is, your work schedule does not allow for travel at this time. Period.

A thought replacement phrase I use with my clients all the time: Step away from the details, and nobody gets hurt.

I use this all the time for social/professional/community stuff I'm not excited about doing. My response is, "I have another obligation." This is wholly and completely true, even when that obligation is to my own relaxation and rejuvenation so that I can be at my best for the ton of other stuff an AM excited about doing. The fact that this might include coloring my hair or vegging on the floor with my dog is not the business of the inquiring party.

Have no guilt, use fewer words.

The more words we add, the more fear/pain we are trying to protect ourselves or others from. Usually, there is no need!

"No" is a complete sentence.

erika, I am SO going to use that deBecker quote. Thanks for that.

eta: Badly timed crosspost with PC which illustrates that he did not need me to make my point. It's a point in its own right though, so I will leave it.

"Not MEXICAN. SPANISH.

t faceplant