Y'all are reminding me of a long-ago conversation on Table Talk, about dealing with kids' minor aches and pains and gripes, and one extremely innocent, sheltered mom who'd been using a Hitachi Magic Wand for its purported purpose, vibrating away the little knots her two Little League players got in their shoulders and calves. Everyone, thinking she already knew what it was actually for, made sniggering little jokes about what a great multipurpose tool it was, and when she finally twigged to the point of all the jokes she was horrified.

And concerned about what she was going to do next: now that she knew what it was really for, she didn't think she could use it on her little boys (but they loved it! they'd be heartbroken!), and now that she'd spent three years using it to massage her little boys she sure as hell wasn't going to use it for its actual purpose.

JZ, that story is so tragic it should be turned into a play. Maybe by Shakespeare or Pinter....

It we were to use some of the saving incurred from withdrawing from Iraq to buy every woman in the country a Hitachi Magic Wand, it might help the overall mood of the nation.

OTOH, it might exacerbate the energy crisis.

OTOH, it might exacerbate the energy crisis.

True, that might raise the "Drill, Baby, Drill" slogan again.

True, that might raise the "Drill, Baby, Drill" slogan again.

I'm pretty sure that Palin porno that came out a while ago used this phrase....

You probably would have guessed this, but stepping on a clipboard in sock feet is surprisingly painful.

I didn't guess it before I felt it, Ginger. Yeouch indeed.

Hope you didn't raise a bruise...like I did.

If more people had better vibrators, there would be lots less spending of gummint money.

Vibrators for some, tiny American flags for others!

I love how this thread is jumping from discussions of the budget deficit to the KILLER VIBRATOR THE DESTROYER and back again.

That and a very large glass of wine (I worked today, so It's Fine) are keeping me happy.

Well, we didn't complete(/close) on the house. Our lawyer is all ready to go. The lawyers for the other side are being idiots and refusing to provide the last bits of information we need - or being too lazy to do actual work. I can see it taking a few days yet. But I so appreciate the ~ma! You are all lovely. I have spent too many hours writing. I need more wine.

Seska, I hope the lawyers get there act together soon!

I had a long day walking around Newport with T. Of course she was late showing up but still wanted to do everything she possibly could in just a few hours. So tired now.

More quick resolution ~ma coming your way, Seska. Hopefully, when it's all over, and you are comfy in your very own home...all this will seem trivial.

Though I can relate to the aggro of people being unnecessarily dim.

I don't normally indulge in the 'What I didn't say' purge, but today, I'm going for it.

Stuff I didn't say to the clearly Napoleonic (in a bad way) head of the rescue group my very nice new client is trying to survive:

Madam Dictator, Seriously? You are demanding this brand new dog person take a Petco class, rather than receiving individual, professional instruction?

It's not that I have anything against any decent instruction available. However, the 'significant trauma' that you have described after having SO MANY dogs returned might just be due to the notion that a 6 hour class at the mall is all that is necessary to help a human develop a great relationship with a dog.

Ever consider the fact that Schnauzers have particular breed needs that set them up to be less social than other dogs and that working AGAINST, rather than with, those needs (by tossing them into a group without setting the human up to succeed first) is what precipitates your traumatic experiences?

Also, really? "Trauma" is how you view your volunteer activity? Much as I admire rescuers, and I sincerely worship their dedication, perhaps you need to find another outlet for your spectacular need to push people around.

Oh and, expecting me to send a detailed (hour by hour, exercise by exercise) curriculum of my program...which is proprietary, natch...is so far out of bounds I had to gasp...each of the four times you asked. Not gonna happen.

Oh, OH and thanks for completely freaking out the woman who wants to give your charge an amazing home. That's set her right up with all the anxiety and trepidation the dog does NOT need.

Well done you. Signed, Bite me

PS: After spending 5 1/2 hours responding to your petty (non-standard to the org, it turns out) passive aggression, including 3 letters, 9 detailed emails, 3 phone calls with the client and one 30 minute conversation with your subordinate, that's $700 dollars YOU owe me. I accept cash/checks/credit cards and/or a pound of flesh. God save your staff.

t /ahem t /rant

I feel better now. It will all be fine tomorrow, but these last 3 days have been seriously aggroed.