Oh, Teppy. Parents.
And I'm *trying* to force my brain to chill out about things that haven't even happened.
I am going to share something that helps me (from DBT) and feel free to ignore it or tell me to STFU. Instead of trying not to think about the elephant, I observe and describe my feelings. "Worry, worry, pain, sadness," etc. If that's still too intense, I observe and describe my physical environment - I do this a lot when walking. "Broken asphalt, red car, soft breeze, truck noise," etc. Somehow that extra level of awareness gives me just a sliver of distance from the overwhelm.
I understand that you're venting, not asking for problem-solving, and that is why I say again - scroll on by if it's not helpful at the moment.
And I hope your father is sympathetic and supportive today.
Instead of trying not to think about the elephant, I observe and describe my feelings. "Worry, worry, pain, sadness," etc. If that's still too intense, I observe and describe my physical environment - I do this a lot when walking. "Broken asphalt, red car, soft breeze, truck noise," etc. Somehow that extra level of awareness gives me just a sliver of distance from the overwhelm.
I'm going to try this. Thanks. I mean it.
I have a feeling it would work better if I could say "Stabbing rude jerk, kicking asshat in face, punching guy in elevator on cellphone." For instance.
I think I like your version better, Teppy. Not so sure the therapists would agree, but *I* like it.
Right now I have 2 modes: weepy and rage. So if I'm all fulla rage, at least I'm not sitting at my desk weeping.
Ugh, Tep. We're here for you.
I woke up this morning to find my phone shut off again. I would have paid it already, buty roommate has yet to pay his half of the rent, and he's started talking about the possibility of moving out. I have no money for food or gas until I get my unemployment check tomorrow, or Saturday or Monday (I just LOVE the uncertainty of when unemployment checks show up.
I'm SO EFFING SICK OF MONEY TROUBLES!
And even my dad, smart and liberal, sometimes falls into the trap of "it must be my fault, because I'm not trying hard enough to find the next gig." But I'm one of the lucky ones - I get work. There's what, fine or more job seekers for any job opening? Yes, my work doesn't quite work like that, but theater design work isn't exactly exploding with work either.
I'm hoping my power doesn't get shut off between now and when my next check comes.
Sean! My brother! My phone was shut off this morning too. And our electricity was disconnected Monday for 24 hours while we scrambled to get a loan.
Tomorrow is payday.
Yay! I'm in good company!
I think smonster's suggestion is a good one. The other thing I try is asking myself "Am I safe IN THIS MOMENT?" The answer is usually yes and it allows me to focus on being present where I am right now instead of constantly worrying about the past/future. And it also helps me appreciate that I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and the basics, which I tend to take for granted too often.
Sean, I'm sorry it's going like that. I can totally empathize with that situation (including the reactions of family). I hope your check arrives soonest! Also that the roommate scrapes up his half of the rent.
