The reason he needs to "get rid of it"?

Uh...seriously? Your father called your brother's girlfriend an "it?" Why your brother would speak one more word to him after that without being given and abject and sincere apology is beyond me. Seriously.

You know, I wouldn't be so upset about it if they could admit that it came from bias.

I'd probably still be as upset and grossed out but I often think (about these anti-Muslim and anti-gay marriage people) "Just admit you're a fucking bigot! Stop trying to justify your bigotry with made up shit!"

Heidi Klum, her hot husband and their cutie-pie kids would probably disagree with your dad.

In Heidi's case, it was the first, white, husband she was unable to mix with.

Also my friend Prior and her boyfriend Tyrone (she's from a rather ritzy part of Dallas and he's from Oak Cliff, so they have a bit of cultural/class stuff to sort out as well).

And, of course they'd play the shame card. All f-ed up families do. Even ones like mine, where the family "name" is like, no big deal at all.Yeah, a hundred years ago, I could be princess of the bowling alley. BFD.

Yes, bias is still gross and could lead to/stem from hate but if you face up to it, you could maybe grow as a person. I did not grow up around "the gay" and I have learned a lot about that. And I learned powerful anti-Southern bias as well...I'm working through that.

I forgot how fast Bitches go.

Some denominations are based on having been persecuted, sometimes with actual persecution. It's odd that they see this as "we must defense ourselves, because we have been persecuted", rather than, "we know how you feel and will defend you from persecution, because we have been persecuted, too." My Persecution is More Relevant Than Your Persecution.

coughsIsraeliwhohadenoughofherprivilegecoughs

I love Passover because the Haggadah we use puts heavy emphasis on empathy for those suffering. "As long as there is slavery, none are free". And the pouring out of wine for the plagues, and God smacking down the angels during the Red Sea thing by saying "My creatures are perishing, and you rejoice?"

I disagree. There are many parts of the Haggadah that are equally problematic. "Pour out Your wrath upon those who do not know You and upon the governments" and "in each and every generation they rise up against us" comes to mind. I agree that the basic idea is wonderful; yet, in practice...

While 9/11 affected all Americans and was a terrible blow to the victims' families, I fail to see how it gives everyone in the country, in particular the families, jurisdiction over lower Manhattan

Again, with my Israeli perspective, I can say that Tel Aviv is getting a lot of hate ever since terror attacks stopped there. It "became" "center of leftism" because "these people can afford it".

I also wonder why I'm not a real American

Now I'd be disappointed. I'm coming all the way to meet you guys. I thought you were Americans!

If you can't justify your discomfort, it merits no respect.

With all due respect, while it sounds lovely, its problematic. People could justify their racial bias, because that was The Truth (and a woman's place is in a kitchen and all of that). With the same tune, the story I mentioned here Shir "Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure." Aug 17, 2010 7:34:56 am PDT is getting the support because people believe that. So, what I'm saying here is that someone has to call what's justified and what's not. These days, it seems like you can justify almost anything and get away with it. I wrote my two cents about it here: [link]

Uh...seriously? Your father called your brother's girlfriend an "it?" Why your brother would speak one more word to him after that without being given and abject and sincere apology is beyond me. Seriously.

The pronoun is hearsay from my sister, I think, and he's not sure they actually used it, but he wouldn't put it past them. Now his girlfriend's really pissed.

And when my mom was packing up food for him to take home, per usual, she said, "So now we're feeding him and the..." And she couldn't even finish the sentence. Possibly she was trying not to say anything because the grandparents were in the living room, but possibly she's just being awful.

For years, we lived right across the street from a biracial couple (white man, Indian woman). With a daughter. Maybe two, actually. I always got the impression they were sort of ostracized, but that may have been my parents' views projecting onto my own.

I haven't called home in over a week, and they haven't called me. But I have no desire to talk to them right now.

There are many parts of the Haggadah that are equally problematic. "Pour out Your wrath upon those who do not know You and upon the governments" and "in each and every generation they rise up against us" comes to mind.

I don't think those bits are in the Haggadah my family uses - there are about fifteen gazillion different versions available for Reform Jews of varying political and religious inclinations.

[eta - I'm sure there are multiple versions available for non-Reform Jews as well, but since I was raised Reform I can't speak from experience there.]

I think that we've established that people are totally wrong.

Now it's merely a question of how can you talk with someone who not only thinks other than you, but also thinks that some people (and maybe even you among them) are less "people", so you can do whatever you want to them.

Edit:

I don't think those bits are in the Haggadah my family uses - there are about fifteen gazillion different versions available for Reform Jews of varying political and religious inclinations.

Most Jews in Israel read the traditional Haggadah, and cringe about it every Passover (if they give it a thought).

P-C, have them go visit my family in San Antonio. It's like the United Colors of Benetton. There's one white-Hispanic couple, one white-black couple, and one white-Chinese couple. And they've all been together for years, and have some adorable kids.

pop-tarts:

Whites with whites, blacks with blacks, Asians with Asians, Indians with Indians.

So Punjabi would be OK now?