Yesterday I met up with an old friend from when I was an undergraduate. It's been at least eight years since I last saw her. Neither of us has changed all that much - except I came out and met The Girl within the last eight years. She's still a very evangelical Christian, whereas I've become far more liberal, and not only because of coming out. She was clearly struggling with it, but the fact that neither of us felt any need to 'persuade' the other was a good thing. She at one point said how she has her own "temptations". And I had to say that actually, I'm in a committed, permanent and soon-to-be-official-under-law relationship with another person, and I didn't think that exactly fell under the category of 'temptation'. While I'm mostly OK that some people think I'm a sinner, as long as they know they are too, I also find it frustrating that their relationships are holy while mine is evil. Ultimately, that's where I have trouble with the 'love the sinner' stuff. I'm a terrible sinner. But The Girl is one thing I got right.
Seska posted this a couple days ago, but I just wanted to repeat it because it's a beautiful way of saying something very important.
Debet, I'm so sorry. I hope the time you have left with Maggie is good for both of you.
Steph, you have all my sympathy for what you are going through. Mark said something to me the other day, when I was on another crying jag and apologizing for burdening him with my own grief on top of his, to the effect of: "I don't need you to be strong. I just need you to be here." And I'm sure Tim feels similarly. What he really needs is for you to be there with him. That's it; that's what counts.