I have no office rant per se, but yesterday one of my work colleagues turned up in the exact same suit as me. Same brand, same line, same fabric. It's a total office faux pas. (This is the guy I had to stop from calling me billytea.)

Now I'm wondering what would happen if someone had a split personality and one personality sued another.

Well, they'd be paying costs at least.

Watch out you don't get "Single White Femaled", bt. It's funny...one year I thought that movie was total crap...the next I had one. She cut her hair like me, got a lot of the same clothes and talked to my shrink on the phone. Of course, I lived, unlike the movie victim. It got really worrisome when she told a family vacation story of mine like it was hers.

My department recently put together a style guide. Now there are several people in that department who believe that we can convince the other 550+ people in the organization to a) read it, b) comply with it, and c) care when we call them on failing to do a or b.

I am not one of those people. However, I will bring them cookies when their dreams are crushed under the weight of organizational indifference to the serial comma.

Now I want to go back into customer service. I would rock at tech support.

"Can you see the moon? Yes? You need an adapter."

"Ah, what we have here is an AF1022 afterburner sequencing error. You'll need three tea towels...NOT hand towels, TEA towels...a pound of butter and sixteen cat's eye marbles."

"Now, reach inside...no, no DON'T unplug it! That would make this all pointless! Now, jam your screwdriver in the big power box...which one of us is the expert here?"

"You're fucked."

I am not one of those people. However, I will bring them cookies when their dreams are crushed under the weight of organizational indifference to the serial comma.

Please come to work at my office? I would like to be soothed with cookies every time one of the writers doesn't use the style guide.

Alternatively, I would like there to be no consequences when I want to go play live-action Whack A Mole with the PMs who think their specs can be used for documentation with no extra work.

My work rants are all aimed at myself or vicarious at the moment.

Big cats on catnip are cute. Neither of my cats likes catnip, more's the pity.

I have no work rants because I have no work at the moment. Speaking of which, I suppose there is no nice way of saying that I want to be paid if I babysit every Friday for my friend's son? I can't really see myself getting up at 5:30 every Friday for free.

No work rants for me at the moment, though I could do some home ones.

sj, if she wants you to do that work, she needs to pay you. Seriously. It has to be a business transaction. For both of you.