Connie's words.... damn allergies.

{{{{{Teppy & The Boy & family}}}}}

Well, if it's any comfort, I wrote them down while blinking rapidly. I had a sudden vision of everyone on the board with their arms outstretched bracing everyone else.

While you're supporting the Boy and Boy's Family, Tep, know we've got your back, too. Lots of people holding up everybody.

I love you guys so much.

The Boy's mom is home, but not because she's better. A hospice nurse is there, and hospice arranged for a hospital bed and all the other respiratory stuff she needs.

When I got to the hospital, just the 3 sons and her husband were in the hospital room with her, discussing what they wanted to do. And she decided to go home, since hospice can keep her comfortable at home as well as they can in the hospital.

I went to the house ahead of time with one of the SiLs and a grandson and his wife, and we moved furniture and waited for the hospice company to bring the bed and set it up. Then the rest of them came to the house (with The Boy's mom in an ambulance, of course).

The Boy is alternating between being an absolute rock, giving his mom water and feeding her, and just losing his shit in an epic way (when he's away from her). Which I imagine is not uncommon in such situations.

He's so worried that she won't be getting enough water and food since she's not on an IV any more, and she isn't receiving tube feeding. I think he had a conversation with her where she said that even if she isn't on a ventilator, she would want food and water.

He told me that he just "doesn't want to let her down." And I asked him how he thinks he might, and he said by not getting her adequate food and water. I told him that's why the whole family is there, so everyone can take turns caring for her and making sure she has what she needs, and that the hospice nurse is going to be able to tell us if she's dehydrated or otherwise deficient. That seemed to calm him down, although this is far from a calm situation.

I have no idea what the prognosis is -- hours or days, or what. Surely not weeks. I don't think she can get "better," but I honestly don't know if she can recover to the point where she's not in a critical state. Since I wasn't in on the discussion this morning, I don't know exactly what the doctor said about her condition, and there really hasn't been a good time to pull someone aside and ask them. Maybe later.

So I'm home to feed the pets and let them roam around the backyard, and I'm going to grab a shower, and pack a bag for The Boy and take it back to his parents' house, since he'll probably stay there tonight. He's exhausted, since he stayed at the hospital last night, but he's not going anywhere. I love that man beyond reason.

He's definitely a good one, Teppy. I'm so glad for him that he's got you to hold him up.

Tep, I have a pretty good idea how you feel. Everything everybody else said. Especially Connie and Vortex.

Well, if it's any comfort, I wrote them down while blinking rapidly. I had a sudden vision of everyone on the board with their arms outstretched bracing everyone else.

It sure feels that way to me. With special thanks to the B's who reached out to me recently. Heartbreakingly kind.

Tep, the very strongest, courage and peace ~ma coming to everyone connected to the Mom of the Boy. What a loving family.

Yeah, Tep, that's beautiful AND horrible. Good thoughts for everyone.

Tep, your Boy is a rock, and it's wonderful you can be one for him.

sj, from experience, I have nothing but wonderful things to say about eloping. No planning angst, no quarrels, no decisions, no placating factions, just you and your beloved and a benevolent officiant, and a hotel full of fondly disposed staff. Bliss. Put all that dress, venue, flower and refreshments money toward a house down payment, or a fabulous honeymoon.

Send announcements after the fact. Let friends and rellies throw you a reception and/or shower(s).

I hand-wrote announcements on high quality notecards, and people seemed to appreciate the personal touch. Of course, H left for basic training right after the honeymoon, so I had the time, it gave me something to do, and I couldn't cry because I'd smirch the ink.

But! I wholeheartedly endorse the elopement plan.

You, The Boy and his family are in my thoughts, Tep. And you are being amazing. I'm glad you are letting us support you a little.

Boy is a rock. But he might not be able to be one if you were not there to be a rock for him.