{{{{{Teppy}}}}} It sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can, and I am sure just knowing you are there for him is a great comfort to the Boy.

sj said it perfectly. Hang in there, hon, and let me know if you want to talk. I have been there, and I know how hard it is to feel that helpless as you watch your partner struggle.

It is SO MUCH HARDER -- for *me* -- to be the partner of someone whose parent is gravely ill. I feel so useless.

Yes. I'm so sorry, Tep, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

(OMG, that whole situation with Toms' mom is just... horrible, bananas, and apparently in the past??? Which, ???????????????????????????????????????????)

I have been incredibly sad all day, so sorrowful. WTF?

Of course, my mom calls me and asks about how happy we are, having moved here. "Well, in general, happy- today, I can't stop crying, and YOUR LOVE IS NOT HELPING MOM!"

Then I drank some beer and commandeered the jukebox at Parasols to the delight of the crowd there, and that helped. A little. Came back to an email from my housekeeper (in Salem) that made me all weepy again.

I feel... like... I wish I weren't married. Like I had no consequences beyond my own safety. Like I could go on an NOLA bender for about a month and a half without coming up for air and it would be AWESOME.

However, in the meantime, I will pet my cats and listen to my iPod and cry a lot and eventually go upstairs and go to sleep next to Tom.

One neat thing:

The hospital where The Boy's mom is staying is located just barely north of downtown, and up on a hill. So basically any room has a nice view, though what you see depends on what side of the hospital you're on.

Before I left tonight -- it was 10:15 or so, and dark out -- The Boy and I were standing at the window because I was pointing out where my car was. Then, off in the distance in some other part of town that we were able to see because we were on a hill, we saw fireworks. Not backyard fireworks, but professional ones, for about 10 minutes.

So while his mom was sleeping fitfully behind us, we stood in front of the big window and watched the fireworks, speculating on what event might be the occasion for the show. It was nice.

Around here, random pro fireworks are usually attached to sports events -- Friday home game or whatnot. All strength to you in dealing with the care thing, and healing ~ma to the Boy's mom.

That's a tough situation to be in, Teppy. But you're doing all you can. ~ma to the Boy's mom.

{{Nora}} I wish I could say or do something to make it better, but I suspect there's not anything. So, all I will do is offer virtual hugs and know that I'm thinking of you and think that you are one cool chick that I'm very happy to know.

Teppy, My SiL the nurse translating medical stuff for me when my dad was dying was invaluable and I will be forever grateful to her for that. You just being there and running what interference you can and thinking of things like portable food for him is worth the world to The Boy.

Every night at 9:30 I can hear the fireworks from Disneyland. But I can't see them.

teppy and Nora -- sending you strength and the ability to find a little peace

{{{Tep}}} Being there is a lot. Really. And that fireworks moment sounds really nice. I'm glad you got it.

{{Nora}}