I was reading Dear Prudence over on Slate, and the porn question came up, ie, "My boyfriend is reading porn! Why is he doing such a horrible thing? Doesn't he love me, aren't I enough?" etc.

Given who we are, I'm assuming that most of us don't think porn is a relationship-destroying evil, but that is an assumption. What do others make of the "porn is horrible" issue? I always want to stand up and say "Does that include gay porn? Does hot guy-on-guy action objectify women too?"

Two people got back to me! I'm getting the feeling I may need to compromise on my "apartment must have a dishwasher" stance.

What do others make of the "porn is horrible" issue? I always want to stand up and say "Does that include gay porn? Does hot guy-on-guy action objectify women too?"

Heh. Me too.

"My boyfriend is reading porn! Why is he doing such a horrible thing? Doesn't he love me, aren't I enough?"

This reminds me of my high school girlfriend. She thought that women couldn't masturbate, so she said it wasn't fair if I masturbated, and if I did masturbate then it'd be OK for her to sleep with other guys.

I didn't know enough to correct her on the "women can't masturbate" thing so I just lied and said I wouldn't do it anymore.

She thought that women couldn't masturbate

That poor woman.

She thought that women couldn't masturbate, so she said it wasn't fair if I masturbated, and if I did masturbate then it'd be OK for her to sleep with other guys.

As one who was, late to the game shall we say? I still call bullshit on that reasoning. I mean, that's just ...

t head = splodey

Two people got back to me!

Rock! Are you going to be able to make a visit to see places? When I went apartment hunting, I took a sheet of paper and drew out the floor plan and made notes about things I liked and didn't like so I wouldn't forget, since I was seeing six or seven apartments in a week.

I'm getting the feeling I may need to compromise on my "apartment must have a dishwasher" stance.

I don't have a dishwasher. My sink is currently full of dishes.

I have a dishwasher. It's called a housemate.

buried her child here

Que the fuck?

I was reading Dear Prudence over on Slate, and the porn question came up, ie, "My boyfriend is reading porn! Why is he doing such a horrible thing? Doesn't he love me, aren't I enough?" etc.

Given who we are, I'm assuming that most of us don't think porn is a relationship-destroying evil, but that is an assumption. What do others make of the "porn is horrible" issue?

Eh. I can understand how it *can be* (but obviously isn't always) something that becomes an obstacle in a relationship -- like one partner watches so much porn that it takes away time and energy from the relationship.

However, porn is FAR from the only thing that can introduce an obstacle into a relationship. "Golf widows," etc. I'm sure WoW can be just as bad in terms of being a time-suck.

If a relationship isn't actively tended to, it will wither, is my feeling. And if that relationship isn't being tended to, then anything can introduce a fracture. Not just porn.

I like Prudie's general take on it, which is, Guys dig porn, and if it's not causing a problem in your relationship, don't make it into one.

(There is part of my brain that doesn't like the aspect of porn that promotes unrealistic body expectations for women [Brazilians, breast implants, size 00 bodies], and that part does in fact worry that The Boy will compare me unfavorably to women in porn. But that's not a huge concern, really.)

If she's otherwise unsatisfied with their sex life, I could see it as a culprit/scapegoat/contributing factor. But the major issue there is not the porn, in that case.

This reminds me of my high school girlfriend. She thought that women couldn't masturbate, so she said it wasn't fair if I masturbated, and if I did masturbate then it'd be OK for her to sleep with other guys.

I knew a woman in the Freak-Ass Church who told her fiance flat-out that he could never masturbate once they were married, because if he wanted to get off, she'd have as much sex with him as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Part of me still wants to call her and ask how that EXCEEDINGLY REALISTIC promise is working out for her.