I hope you are eventually able to work this out with your parents, P-C. I'm so sorry for the stress it causes.

I think I may just attempt radio silence for a while again. Good news is my aunt is back on my side. (Bad news is my brother is now embroiled in his own family drama. Grah.)

PUPPEHS!

(And never worry about fretting about being away from your husband. We don't compete about being sad here--separation is difficult.)

Oh, I know. I'm just amazed at how the two of you do it. You guys have an enviable relationship, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Posey von Pilsner wins my heart.

Pix, I think Posey is the best choice! So cute!!

Shir, not sure what to say. Not fulling understanding the problem. Do you fancy the bloke? Does he fancy you? From what you said, sounds like he's got a gf. If he's not looking for a new gf, than just let the friendship be what it will be. Don't over analyze it. (I know, easier said then done).

Oh, I meant to talk about Shir's thing earlier!

What I'm getting is that the guy has gone from pleasant regular person I talk to to doing good friend like stuff.

I'm not sure to what degree it's the same, but I can give you the example of my friend Lawyer Bob. I know Lawyer Bob through hubby's HS best friend. For a very long time Lawyer Bob was simply amusing, kind of a loud mouth jerk, but usually good naturedly so (if that makes any sense).I didn't consider us that close.

That is, until one day he totally stepped up and was really amazing for me in a situation where he not only didn't have to, but would have been totally right not to. It was...odd, I guess, because I hadn't really thought we were that close, but suddenly Lawyer Bob became one of my most trusted, loyal friends.

So yeah, kind of strange at first, but now I'm used to it and try to be the same for him.

puppies! I do love the one-ear-up-one-ear-down look.

Although I must say ... I haven't seen that much tongue since the last F2F.

Preface: no brackety hugs needed, I just need to say this out loud (or in pixels).

I have the weird dizzy-making brain-zappy feelings one can get when going off (and back on, and then off) an SSRI antidepressant. (Skin still attached, almost no itchy left.)

And thanks to the whipsawing back and forth between on a drug, off a drug, on a drug, off a drug, my brain is like a funhouse at a carnival for the damned.

My sleep is kerfucked (try 4 hours last night), and I am bouncing back and forth between goofy and empty despair that I am a useless human being who is a drain on my boyfriend and hideous to boot. (Guess which side of the funhouse I'm in right now.)

I understand with the last 2 rational brain cells that are working that this is just because I've abused the holy hell out of my brain with the starting and stopping and starting and stopping, et al.

But my lizard brain is howling right now. And really overwhelmed. Also with, did I mention?, the OMG so hideous no one has ever been this enormously fat and hideous to look upon before and my boyfriend must be ashamed to be seen with me and my god I'm such a drain on him.

SRSLY, no hugs. I just feel less insane if I can actually say out loud what awful things are ricocheting around in this defective broken pudding of a brain.

But, skin still attached. So there's that.

Sometimes when you say the brain-crack out loud, you can get a feel for how ridiculous it is.

I'm glad you still have your skin, Steph.