Happy birthday, Jessica!

Shir, that is a gorgeous picture, but wow. I would never, ever, ever have had the nerve to hang something like that on my bedroom wall when I was sharing a house with either parent. You've got (dirty) courage, woman!

Shir, I too am impressed by your chutzpah (a word I love, and learnt from The Girl) with hanging that painting on your wall. And it's fab.

Yeah, I hid it for a while when they were visiting and I was living on my own (with roommates). Then, one day, I forgot to do so. My mom told me it was beautiful, but needed framing (then it was hanged with sellotape on my room's wall). She and my dad framed it for my last birthday, so I took it as an approval for my taste and its being on my room's walls.

Alas, that still doesn't mean I have a sex life, dammit. Frankly, with my uni's schedule, I'm just glad to have something which resemble social life once in a while.

And now. All of that talking, about what I want in my room?
Forget it.

I got the shelves I needed today, and unpacked 3 and a half boxes, and I just want the house elves to get it done and my room clean afterwards. That is all.

Douchebag

I cringe at that one, and I can't understand why it's considered so widely acceptable. They say the shorter version of that on HIMYM, for pity's sake, when they wouldn't get away with a lot of other words. That, and the C word, are really beyond the pale for me. I say everything else.*

*I used to be a good, non-swear-y girl. Then I met the Bronzers. It was really that simple.

Seska, can I ask, what about that word makes it beyond the pale for you?

I'm not asking in a judge-y way AT ALL; I'm just curious. And feel free to not answer if you don't want to address it.

It was totally Shakesville that converted me to douchebag as a term of contempt; their justification is that douches and all their assorted equipment are purportedly benign items that in fact are just a cynical attempt to make money off of women's insecurity about their natural bodily processes, completely useless at best and at worst actively malign.

It was totally Shakesville that converted me to douchebag as a term of contempt; their justification is that douches and all their assorted equipment are purportedly benign items that in fact are just a cynical attempt to make money off of women's insecurity about their natural bodily processes, completely useless at best and at worst actively malign.

JZ is me. The concept of a douche is insulting from the get-go (women's bodies are UNCLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN!) so I feel pretty comfortable applying it as an all-purpose insult.

And -- though my understanding is that this word is hotly contested among disability-rights advocates -- "lame."

Yeah, 'Suela pointed that one out to me recently, and I had never even thought of it in that context, ever, and...like you, I still say it. I also haven't been able to remove "gypped," either, and I have a Romani friend! I think I thought it was "jipped" for the longest time and was surprised to discover it had negative connotations. But it's so ingrained in me as a benign word.

It was totally Shakesville that converted me to douchebag as a term of contempt

Which is interesting, because Shakesville is where I picked up a virtual laundry list of language that's privileged in different ways. And I had the typical privileged reaction to it, which is, "Fuck that! If I want to denigrate a man by calling him a woman (without thinking about what that's *really* saying about women), then I goddamn WILL!"

...it's hard to ferret it all out of my vocab, I tell you what.

...it's hard to ferret it all out of my vocab, I tell you what.

Now you're just stereotyping ferrets as animals that... ferret.

I'm not a fan of douche either. I guess since it's exclusively marketed to women, it feels to me like another slam against us. I try to keep my insults gender-neutral, like asshole, shitheel, fuckhead, etc.

This post [link] discusses the debate over that word that I'm not comfortable using. I've heard many, many times from feminists - feminist blogs and discussion boards especially - that since it's a tool of oppression, the word can be used to mock oppressors and their attitudes. I still find the word sexist and offensive. It's hard to explain exactly why - but I think that the popularity of words involving female genitalia is based in the idea, subconscious or otherwise, that these are there to be degraded. (I'm aware that the existence of 'cock' and similar terms, and the popularity of such, may undermine my argument here. I suppose I avoid using those terms for not-dissimilar reasons, though I don't think it's such an oppressive term, in a patriarchal society - where 'cock' is often considered a positive thing.)

ETA: Cross-post with Glamcookie, who says much more in many fewer words.