At this point I can't help thinking that everything is all my fault, I am clearly in the wrong, and I should just go crawling back and do everything my parents say for now and eternity.

I'm pretty sure it is not your fault your younger sister has learned how to be a master manipulator. I'm pretty sure I know whose fault that is, but it's not yours. What she did by emailing you that load of crap is not evidence that you are wrong, but evidence that you need to stay the course. I'm sorry that this process sucks so much, and that it hurts so much.

You're 19. You've probably got about four years until they start shopping you around.

Great comment, says my little brother, who, thank God, is on my side as expected. I don't know what I'd do if he defected too.

P-C, if she's still living at home, you can bet she's catching byblow from all the ranting and crying and breast-beating going on there. Living in a pressure cooker, you feel some of the heat, whether you caused it or not, and you want it to stop.

It doesn't mean you're wrong. I'd send her the comment too. If she ever gets to a point where she's actually listening to you, you might tell her you're desperately trying to treat your parents like adults, by telling them the truth, not pretending to agree with them and then deceiving them. Being honest is the adult thing to do. But if they're incapable of accepting honesty, then is it her advice to treat them like children and lie to them to spare their feelings?

That isn't respect, it isn't love. Be strong, choose honesty, to them, and to yourself.

Windsparrow, how and why did you get kicked. Do you need the goon squad?

Windsparrow, how and why did you get kicked. Do you need the goon squad?

Part of the job, as a caregiver for developmentally disabled adults. We are trained in how to deal, not only to protect ourselves, but also other residents, as well as the one(s) who have violent behavior. Aside from the residual bruising and soreness from engaging in what amounts to a wrestling match, I feel ok. Emotionally, the effects are not the same as being assaulted or abused. A little wine, a little venting, and I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow.

It's days like this, that keep me from feeling an ounce of guilt about the number of hours that I spend getting paid to read a book or watch tv.

P-C, if she's still living at home, you can bet she's catching byblow from all the ranting and crying and breast-beating going on there. Living in a pressure cooker, you feel some of the heat, whether you caused it or not, and you want it to stop.

Yeah, she's living at home. And she just wants to keep them happy, even if it means lying all the time.

Be strong, choose honesty, to them, and to yourself.

Right now, I choose going to visit friends this weekend to watch Toy Story 3 and play lots of games and laugh and have fun and not talk to my parents.

Talking with my brother is helping. He has said many awesome things, but this may be my favorite:

Brother: how many times have you wondered how the hell is poppa a psychiatrist
Me: I KNOW RIGHT.
Me: FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Brother: because i lost count

Wait, your father is a PSYCHIATRIST? Hahahahahahaha!

Blergh, P-C. I recommend living in a different country from parents and also getting pets. Pets are the best excuse in the world for a) why you can't go visit (can't find anyone to catsit! Have to take cat to the vet!) and b) for getting off the phone (Oh! Have to go, the cat is scratching the furniture! Bye!).

However the pet will also lead, perhaps, to wearing a cardigan to work that has cat sick all down the back. You probably don't wear cardigans though, so you're fine. I, on the other hand, have said sick all over my cardigan and didn't notice until I got to work. I bet I looked really classy on the tube this morning.

I'm sorry, P-C. She sees how it affects your parents; she doesn't see how it's affecting you.

I hate to say it, PC, but I wonder how much pressure (overt or covert) was put on your sister to write that email.

Also, what bt said.

P-C, I went through a somewhat analagous situation with my sis after I came out. All she could see was that I was hurting Mama. Then she graduated hs and left for college and got a fucking clue. It hurts and it sucks. She wouldn't talk to me for months.Now she's my mole and tells me all tthe fucked up things my mom says about me and my brother. Yay?

I also like the very simple "talk to me in four years response." Or you could suggest that she ask your father to explain the concept of boundaries.

Hang in there and I'm so glad your brother is your ally.

WS, I hope your day today goes better and entirely lacks kicking.