(if not effusive)

Actually New Yorkers kept talking to me. Unprompted. I'm still not exactly okay with that. *

Here? I expect it.

There? Kinda freaky.

I won't tell him that you were the one who told us.

We'll never tell.

We have thunder. Weird.

eta: * Because of my expectations. I was told New Yorkers weren't chatty with strangers. So when people kept talking to me, weird.

Usually, you're not just getting one thing though, right? It almost would seem strange to have someone swiping away in front of you, pretending that it was taking up all their concentration, when a "How's it going? Anything else I can help you with?" could just as easily take place in that minute or so.

I think this might sort of fit in with what you were saying about the lack of physical space to be alone. Like, you (general you) kind of accept that your neighbors will hear whatever you're doing, and people in the next building will see in your window, but the line between public and private has to be drawn somewhere, and that somewhere is that someone you're interacting with in a public way (like a cashier) doesn't ask you about your private life (like what you're planning to cook with what you're buying.)

I'll bet the same is true for you.

It definitely changed my life. Honestly, it kicked off this phase of self-aware depression* I've been in ever since, so while I don't regret going and had many fine experiences and learned a lot, I'm still not quite at the place where I can be thankful for that piece of it. Ask me again in another 10 years.

* as opposed to the mostly unconscious angst of my teen years, and the deceptively exuberant college years.

I think my opinion on public interactions is "Direct. Friendly while being mindful that I have no idea what someone's daily experience is. Also, NO CREEPS!"

Huh. I never thought my dinner menu was that private. I can totally see the following conversation happening last month when I was trying an Indian recipe.

(Cashier looks at strange spice). "What do you use this in?" "Oh I'm trying out a new Indian recipe!" Then at the end, "Good luck with your recipe!"

I make contact with checkout people wherever I am--Boston, my 12 years in NYC, and here in LA. It really doesn't add to the time it takes to do the checking out if you time it right. And I've been there and have to say that just because a person is on the other side of a counter does not mean that they are not a human being. Acknowledging that with eye contact and a sentence or two is not that big a deal. It's like learning to be pleasant to waitstaff without slowing them down so you don't lower their possible tips.

Now, if you asked me about people who get to the end of the check out process before getting out their wallet or checkbook, that's a whole 'nother thing. Dude, you are in line in order to pay, so why not be ready to, oh, you know, PAY?

As people guessed off getting Dental problems taken care of. My awesome dentist was able to see my at ten after 7:00 this morning, diagnosed me as needing a root canal and sent me to an awesome entodontist who squeezed me in at 9:30 this morning. I am now home having taken two vicodin and not in major pain.

Now, if you asked me about people who get to the end of the check out process before getting out their wallet or checkbook, that's a whole 'nother thing. Dude, you are in line in order to pay, so why not be ready to, oh, you know, PAY?

B/c I'm bagging. /anal-retentive former grocery cashier/bagger

Srsly, at the co-op last night, I sent things down the belt in the order I wanted them bagged (cold together, produce and bread last, etc.) and he still fucked it up. HOW HARD IS IT, PEOPLE? Do not bag a cantalope with canned goods.

Huh. I never thought my dinner menu was that private.

Food doesn't bother me so much but the other things one buys in stores? I really don't want to chatter about them. And it happened just last week. I don't want to talk about what I am buying from the Personal Care section with a total stranger. The only reason the total stranger is handling my things is because I have to exchange money for said goods. But it's not a damn invitation. I was polite, but it grated.

(Cashier looks at strange spice). "What do you use this in?" "Oh I'm trying out a new Indian recipe!" Then at the end, "Good luck with your recipe!"

I would find that really weird and somewhat off-putting. It's not that it's wrong, it's just that it's not what I'm used to. The only stores where I can imagine that conversation happening would be places like little health food stores where the cashier is also the owner, where I'm a regular customer and the owner is keeping up with what people are buying so that she can figure out what to order more of.