ah Yes, I have already done the circuit with one guy. My eyeballs are sweating. I never realized how sexy spectacles could be.

Fetishes are little meaningful carved stone things that I buy on trips to NM or Arizona!!

Kinks are what I get in my neck when I sleep wrong.

/naive

Innnteresting convo.

I think, with words, since they are symbols about which the majority of humans agree, mutually, that "X" is the meaning to which we attach to "X" word, that definitions have their places. Else all would be chaos. That said, the nature of linguistics being, necessarily fluid, the exact meaning of a word can and does change as society (being made up, as it is, by wacky humans) changes definitions.

What is generally accepted as fetish is something not specifically sexual that a person needs in order to achieve sexual arousal or climax.

Kinky is something, sometimes sexual, sometimes not necessarily sexual, that people find arousing, but it is not needed to become sexually aroused or to climax. (But it *is* fun! Ahem.)

I think that since fetish is a more specifically psychological phenomenon, its definition is still pretty static, but since awareness of fetishes, and conversations about the variety in sexual practices, have become more open in recent years, it is used sometimes as applying to something that isn't really a fetish, per se.

Kinky is much more fluid. The range is FAR wider, since the range of what different individuals regard as "normal" sexual practices is far more diverse. Crotchless panties or oral sex might be justifiably regarded by one person as the most outre in kink, whereas to their neighbor, it's just, y'know, Tuesday night.

The problem with defining "what is kinky?" is akin to the problem in defining "what is pornographic?" Eye of the beholder, methinks.

I think precision of language is really important (/pedant-wordgeek) because I would even hesitate to use the word "normal" in regards to sexuality -- I would probably say "within the range of what is regarded, by the majority of persons within a specific culture, as normative practices."

Oh, and also? Much safe-ma to Fay. I am worried about her.

I think I've seen handcuffs in enough romance novels that they don't really seem too far out of the ordinary.

What is generally accepted as fetish is something not specifically sexual that a person needs in order to achieve sexual arousal or climax.

I'm not trying to bust out with a prescriptive vs. descriptive battle, but I just don't believe that that definition is, as you say, "generally accepted" anymore.

I think "fetish" has come to be used in the same way that "kink" is.

I know what "fetish" is supposed to mean; it started life as your definition, certainly. But I don't hear it used that way any more.

Hey, can someone tell me what "Lovely Lady Humps" are?

This is really all I've got [link] on lady humps. I always wondered how Daleks stayed so smooth and shiny. Now I know - a good wax job.

so, the question is, are "lady lumps" and "lady humps" the same thing?

If you're a Dalek, yes.

I think I've seen handcuffs in enough romance novels that they don't really seem too far out of the ordinary.

I've gotta start reading something besides Regency Romances.

I've gotta start reading something besides Regency Romances.

There was a scene with handcuffs in "Welcome to Temptation" by Jennifer Crusie, and it was implied that the character uses them frequently -- his girlfriend in the book found them behind his bed, and then later, his best friend, the sheriff, told him to buy some of his own and stop stealing the police ones. I could just about swear that one of the Vicki Lewis Thompson books had a handcuff scene, too, but I can't remember which book or where.

One thing having Owen has done was make me stop using the word "normal." We use "typical" in its place because normal and abnormal have negative connotations for us. Owen's atypical but "normal" for him.

I'm not wading into kink because my kink varies. I'm on the Kinsey scale--my needle swings wide.

I'm on the Kinsey scale--my needle swings wide.

Heh. My first thought on reading this? "Oooh, needles!"