My heart expands / 'tis grown a bulge in't / inspired by / your beauty effulgent.

William ,'Conversations with Dead People'


Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


javachik - May 19, 2010 9:56:03 am PDT #19920 of 30000
Our wings are not tired.

Hey, can someone tell me what "Lovely Lady Humps" are?


Steph L. - May 19, 2010 10:03:52 am PDT #19921 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

Isn't kinky defined as "outside the sexual norm, but not into the realm of dangerous or crazy"?

Heh. "Crazy" is so subjective, though. (Again, crucifixion. Attaching electrodes to one's gonads. ASS HOOKS.)

I'm with you on dangerous, although even that, I think, is more of a thing where the individual decides how much danger he/she is willing to risk. Where they recognize that its level of potential danger, and do it anyway.


Vortex - May 19, 2010 10:04:51 am PDT #19922 of 30000
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman

But I wish that people would bear in mind that in most cases, I don't give a fuck about "the norm".

Neither do most of us, I suspect, but it helps the discussion if we're all on the same page linguistically. It's very confusing if you and I are using the same word to mean different things.


Zenkitty - May 19, 2010 10:06:48 am PDT #19923 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

"Crazy" is so subjective, though.

My point exactly, although I'm typing this while on a conference call from hell, so I may not be at my clearest...

Kinky, crazy, and even dangerous are all subjective ideas. I consider skydiving dangerous, skydivers probably don't. Skydivers probably consider fucking while in freefall kinky, I really don't.


Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - May 19, 2010 10:07:44 am PDT #19924 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

I'm with you on dangerous, although even that, I think, is more of a thing where the individual decides how much danger he/she is willing to risk. Where they recognize that its level of potential danger, and do it anyway.

Eh. Dangerous is relative. Every time I have sex I risk dislocations and other injuries. (And on that note, it can be so easy to have fun with people's perceptions and preconceptions. A lot of people think disabled types shouldn't have sex.)


Shir - May 19, 2010 10:24:25 am PDT #19925 of 30000
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".

I feel as if I said everything I have to say on this subject.

But I do intend to being up the "can something can be called kinky if it was a joke on Golden Girls?" as a subject to one of my sociology classes. I think that the answer is yes. Media has Janus face: esp. in satire, the same thing can be a joke or an excat representation of reality, depends who is watching. I didn't watch "All in the Family", but I think Archie Bunker is an example to that. A joke is a liminal place, and it's up to the watcher to decide if it's "true" or "false", or if it's funny or not. That's why "it's funny coz it's true" actually brought a new category, which I love to see how it's progressing.

And Steph, earlier, when I said "if you feel the need to handcuff...", I meant that since I basically agree with you but don't give the agreement the same social value you or others give to it, I find it pointless to agree.

Let me know if there's anything more you wish I'd clarify.


Steph L. - May 19, 2010 10:32:52 am PDT #19926 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

I find it pointless to agree.

Uh, okay then.


Laga - May 19, 2010 10:34:19 am PDT #19927 of 30000
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.

I think handcuffs are entry-level kink. handcuffs:kink::pot:drugs


Steph L. - May 19, 2010 10:34:56 am PDT #19928 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

handcuffs:kink::pot:drugs

Heh. The gateway!


Scrappy - May 19, 2010 10:44:15 am PDT #19929 of 30000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Also the line of what is vanilla keeps changing. I'm 53--when I was just learning about sex, oral sex was considered "kinkier" than penetrative hetero sex. Now, the opposite is true. Since kinkiness is defined by being outside the norm, it changes as the norm changes. Kinkiness will always keep changing, unlike fetishes.

Kink to me is different than fetish. A kink implies choice to me--one can use handcuffs or not, one can have sex in a public place or not. Kink is something anyone adventurous might enjoy. One might enjoy or prefer some specific aspects of kinkiness, like BDSM, but one can enjoy one specific aspect of vanilla sex, like mutual masturbation, too.

Fetish to me implies necessity. One can ONLY enjoy sex with feet involved, for example. Kink seems to widen the possibilities where fetishes narrow it.

This is just me, of course.